Becoming
by T'Key'la
Summary: The Captain was held on a planet far too long before he could be rescued. Once he's back aboard the Enterprise, much healing must take place, not just for him but for all those affected by his absence. We're drawing ever closer to K/S territory!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This story is written for and dedicated to JadeMac2442, because she requested it and she rocks the most. Her stories should be required reading for anyone who wants to know how to _really_ write ST Fanfiction (or any fanfiction, really). This one is for you, sweetie, with gratitude!! Hope it lives up to your expectations.

_All days are nights to see till I see thee,  
And nights bright days when dreams do show thee to me.  
~William Shakespeare, "Sonnet XLIII"_

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"Commander," Chekov said in undisguised excitement.

"Ensign," Spock returned from where he sat in the Captain's chair. He had been acting Captain for the 5.64 weeks of the Captain's disappearance and during that time had refused to be addressed as _Captain._ There was only one rightful Captain of the Enterprise and Spock knew, as did the rest of the crew, that they would eventually find him and restore him to his rightful place.

"I have found him, sir. I have found him," Chekov said, studying his panel.

"I will alert you when I am in the transporter room," Spock said, hardly waiting for a response before entering the turbolift to go down to the transporter. When he arrived, he told Chekov to send him the coordinates of the Captain's location. Spock used them to rescan the area, finding the faint human lifesigns among the much stronger and numerous avian ones.

"Well?" Dr. McCoy was saying as he entered the transporter room. "Did you find him?"

"I am detecting human lifesigns, Doctor," Spock said, studying the readouts.

"Then bring him up already," McCoy said impatiently.

"There are too many of the natives surrounding him," Spock explained. "I do not wish to bring four of the Avestanvish aboard along with the Captain."

"He's been down there for almost 6 weeks, Spock. There's no telling what kind of condition he's in. What they might have done to him all that time."

"I am well aware of the duration of the Captain's absence, Doctor. Surely you cannot believe you alone have…."

"I have what?" McCoy asked more gently. "Missed him?"

Spock ignored him, still studying the scans that were running. When he decided that there was sufficient distance between the Captain and the closest Avestanvish, he energized the transporter.

McCoy was holding his breath as two figures materialized on the transporter pad. The taller one squawked, flapping its bright green wings, looking for all the world like it was really really pissed. The second stumbled down the transporter steps into Bones' waiting arms.

"Send him back," the Captain rasped before passing out. Spock reversed the transporter, returning the Avestanvish to its planet. Only then could he turn his focus on his rescued Captain, his head cradled in the lap of the Doctor. He wore only the tattered remains of his uniform, the shirt completed gone, the pants reduced to little more than a loincloth. His skin was brown from the sun and marred with numerous angry red lines running up and down his back. There was an almost-healed gash above his left eye and the first three fingers of his right hand were at a disturbingly unnatural angle.

McCoy was scanning him, a concerned frown etched on his face.

"Doctor?" Spock asked, squatting next to them.

"He's dehydrated. He may have a concussion. Some of these lacerations are infected." McCoy touched Jim's head, unaware that he was caressing his hair, his concern manifesting itself in his strokes.

"Are your technicians on their way with a stretcher?" Spock asked in a carefully neutral tone.

"Yes."

"Is there something more, Doctor?" Spock asked, studying the other man's worried face. Spock had become adept at reading the emotions that the humans surrounding him almost never tried to hide.

"No no," McCoy said, looking up at Spock. "I'll take care of him if you want to return to the Bridge."

"I will alert the Bridge and Starfleet. I will then come check on the Captain," Spock informed him, not asking his permission, telling him what he was going to do.

"Alright," McCoy agreed, watching Spock leave.

When Spock reached the Bridge, he made the welcome announcement that Captain Kirk had been recovered and was entrusted to the watchful eye of the CMO. Updates would be provided as they were warranted.

McCoy barely heard the announcement as he waited for two of his techs to carefully place the Captain on the stretcher. Jim moaned very quietly when he was being moved, Bones soothing him as they left the Transporter Room. He held tight to Jim's left hand as they went to MedBay, only releasing his grasp when Jim was carefully transferred to his biobed. It wasn't really the Captain's bed but he occupied it so often Bones rarely had any other patient assigned to it.

When Jim was safely laying on his stomach, the biobed readouts confirmed the information from the scanner. Many of the lacerations on his back were infected, some nearly healed over, some alarmingly fresh and still showing bright red blood in the wounds. Jim's fingers had been broken approximately ten days before, the bones beginning to heal incorrectly. Bones would have to rebreak those to set them properly. He was relieved that there were no signs of internal injuries; dehydration and a lack of food evident and disturbing. With Christine Chapel's efficient assistance, Bones removed the last of Jim's uniform and as much of the grime from his body as he could. Washing away the dirt revealed more shallow wounds, small punctures especially evident on his biceps. And the muscles of his shoulders showed signs of being hyper-extended as though he was held off the ground by his arms for long periods of time.

When the lacerations were healed with the regenerator, McCoy placed an IV on the inside of Jim's left arm, using it to replenish the fluids he had lost. The IV also included the antibiotics his system needed to fight off any infections.

"What about his fingers?" Nurse Chapel asked after she had covered the Captain with a soft blanket. She was studying the Captain's face with a worried frown, his complexion pale beneath the newly acquired tan.

"I'll rebreak and set them when he can tolerate it. He's been through enough for right now. And if he does have a concussion, I don't want to risk sedatin' him."

She nodded at that, looking over with McCoy to watch Spock enter the Med Bay.

"How is the Captain?" Spock asked, his hands clasped behind his back as he looked down at the sleeping Human.

"Still unconscious. He has some hyper-extension in his shoulders. He's severally dehydrated and he's lost almost 20 pounds. No internal injuries. He may have a concussion but I don't know for sure. I've healed the laceration over his left eye and most of those on his back. They appeared to have been made by… talons or claws."

"Talons?" Spock repeated absently.

"Yeah. I think the Avestanvish did it. How else would he have gotten those injuries?"

"Not from living in the trees?"

"No resin. No botanical residue," McCoy said with a shake of his head.

"I see," Spock said, still studying the Captain.

"What did Starfleet say?"

"We are to divert to Starbase Skynyrd. Admiral Pike is still there and wishes to come aboard," Spock explained.

"When will we get there?"

"In 7.9 hours."

"Jim will be conscious by then," McCoy confirmed.

"You did not repair his fingers?"

"Not yet," McCoy said, explaining as he had to Chapel.

Spock nodded, looking up at the Doctor. "Is there anything else we can do?"

"No. Not right now. He'll recover, Spock. It'll take some time but he'll be okay. Do you want to stay with him?"

"That is not necessary, Doctor. As I am still on duty, I will return to the Bridge. You will alert me when he regains consciousness."

"Of course," McCoy said. "You heartless hobgoblin," he added to the closed doors.

Contrary to what McCoy believed, Spock was shaken by his visit to the Captain's bedside. In the 1.84 years they had served together, Jim had become more than Spock's commanding officer. He had become Spock's friend, the closest and most important friend Spock had ever had. The Captain's absence had been extremely difficult for Spock, an emotional reaction for which he berated himself. That did not change the fact that Spock had had too many sleepless nights since the day they had been on Avestanvish for what was supposed to be a quick, uneventful visit.

Starfleet had requested that they stop at Avestanvish to determine if the rumors of vast deposits of ryetalyn were true. The outbreak of Rigelian fever was threatening to devastate the population of Kelel-eld, a planet that had petitioned for Federation membership. If Avestanvish did have ryetalyn, they were to try and mine sufficient quantities to manufacture the antidote. Those orders were based on the erroneous report that Avestanvish was uninhabited.

The Captain had beamed down with Spock, the planet geologist Lt Elmraya, and one security guard, just in case. Less than five minutes elapsed from the time they materialized until they discovered that the planet was not, in fact, uninhabited. The towering trees that covered much of the surface were home to enormous birdlike creatures with wingspans of 11 meters. This fact they discovered only when the birds made a noisy and abrupt appearance, swooping down from their perches high above their heads and buzzing the away team. The Captain in his bright gold shirt was their primary target and he was in the process of ordering emergency transport back to the ship when one of the birds grasped the Captain in its tremendous talons and flew off into the trees, leaving behind his communicator.

The security guard automatically drew his phaser but Spock prevented him from using it, pointing out that the chances of hitting the Captain were too great to risk it. Six additional members of security, dressed in only black shirts, beamed down to join the search for the missing Captain until they ran out of time. It was imperative that the supply of ryetalyn they did have be delivered before the epidemic was irreversible.

It was not easy for Spock to order the Enterprise away from Avestanvish but Starfleet gave him no choice. They spent three anxious weeks at Kelel-eld fighting the outbreak of Rigelian fever and were then ordered to its planetary neighbor of Gahnilaj, inoculating as many of its citizens as possible from the fever. Finally, after nearly five grueling weeks, they were allowed to return to Avestanvish to search for the Captain.

Starfleet had asked each day if they had met with success. Spock wanted to tell them that repeatedly contacting him did nothing to help the search and surely they knew he would inform them the moment they found the Captain. All of these somewhat inappropriate thoughts he kept to himself, repeating each day that, no, they had not yet been able to retrieve the Captain. They had been orbiting and scanning the planet for 5 days when Chekov finally announced he had found faint human lifesigns.

Spock shook himself mentally, silently scolding his subconscious for dwelling, again, on the circumstance of the Captain's disappearance when he needed to be concentrating instead on running the Enterprise until her rightful Captain could resume command.

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TBC - yeah, I'm breaking my rule again (although I did take out of my profile). But it's going to be really long, I can already tell. And I don't want you to have to read it all at once. Sorry. Hope you like it. Please let me know? Love those reviews!!


	2. Chapter 2

Spock sat in the Captain's chair, staring blindly at the stars that were streaking by on the viewscreen. He knew there were orders to be given and reports acknowledged but he could not bring himself to care, not right then.

"Sir," Sulu said softly, recognizing the almost expression of distress on Spock's face.

"Lieutenant," Spock responded, focusing on the pilot.

"I'll resume command if you want to go back to Medical Bay," Sulu offered, careful to keep most of the concern and sympathy out of his voice.

"That will not be necessary, Lieutenant. My presence will not assist in the Captain's recovery," Spock said.

"Yes sir," Sulu acknowledged, exchanging quick, worried looks with Chekov.

Those on the Bridge silently disagreed with his assessment but none were about to argue with him over it. They knew, possibly better than did Spock, that his presence was possibly more important to the Captain than any medical intervention that Dr. McCoy would provide. Spock was Kirk's touch-stone, the talisman that Kirk depended on for advice, for silent acknowledgment that his decisions were the correct ones, and on occasion, guidance in avoiding a disastrous outcome. The Captain depended on Spock in ways that the two men barely understood, never articulating the truth to themselves or to anyone else.

And the Bridge crew knew equally well that Spock was as dependent on the Captain if not more so. The Captain was Spock's sexton, instructing him and guiding him along the tricky path of emotions that Humans more easily navigate. Without the Captain, Spock would retreat back into the Vulcan stoicism that they had watched slowly morph into a compassionate and caring individual who silently informed the crew of the Enterprise that he was pleased and honored to be part of their extended family.

Spock managed to focus on those duties he was charged with, answering questions posed to him, responding to requests, and still had too much time to think about his injured Captain. When his replacement arrived for beta shift, he relinquished command and went directly to Med Bay.

"Doctor," Spock said when he arrived at Jim's bed.

"Spock," McCoy returned.

"He has not regained consciousness?" Spock asked. It was clear he had not but Spock needed something to say, some way to engage the Doctor in conversation. The conventions of Human interaction were no longer a mystery to him nor did they come naturally. He had always counted on his Captain to provide his entry into conversations, a fact not entirely lost on him even before he was without that benefit.

"Not yet."

"Does this concern you?" Spock asked, studying the Captain.

"I'm not thrilled by it. But it's partially due to sleep deprivation," McCoy explained.

"He was sleep deprived?"

"The reports said that days on the planet are twice that of Earth. And apparently he didn't sleep very much during their nights."

"I see," Spock said. He drew his eyes from the still form of his Captain to look up almost in pleading at the Doctor.

"He's goin' to be fine, Spock, I promise," McCoy said, feeling faintly guilty about his previous thoughts concerning the lack of emotion Spock had shown. "Can I get you a cup of tea? I'm goin' to get myself some coffee."

"Yes, thank you," Spock agreed, sitting next to Jim to watch for any signs of him waking. He absently accepted the cup of tea from McCoy who went into his office, leaving Spock alone in his silent vigil.

Spock was about to go to the replicator for more tea when Jim finally stirred. "No, no… not again. No, no," he begged in his sleep, his right leg moving restlessly beneath the blanket, his right arm waving off the unseen terrors. "NO, NO," he yelled, Dr. McCoy running to his bedside.

Spock was speaking softly to the Captain, one hand on his back so he would not roll off the biobed in his attempt to evade those attacking him. "Captain," Spock said evenly, berating himself silently for not being able to do more to assist him.

"Jim," McCoy said more loudly, touching his cheek. "Jim, wake up. You're okay. Wake up. Nothin's goin' to hurt you, Jim."

Jim moaned in his sleep, cowering away from McCoy's voice and hand, his right arm still trying to fend off the attacks. When his injured right hand impacted with McCoy's arm, he groaned and shrunk further into himself. "No, no," he pleaded.

"Jim, wake up," Spock said more firmly. "You are safely aboard the Enterprise. Wake up."

Jim stilled, breathing deeply if somewhat tentatively before his eyes slowly opened, his face a mask of stark terror, his blue eyes clouded with confusion.

"You're okay," McCoy soothed, caressing his hair. "You're home."

"Bones," Jim whispered, the word nearly a sob. "Spock?"

"I'm right here," Spock assured him, entering his field of vision.

Jim's eyes widened as he reached out with his left hand to touch Spock's chest, gasping at the contact. His fingers curled into the material of Spock's uniform, gripping it tightly. "You're real," Jim said, looking up with glazed blue eyes at Spock and the Doctor. "You're real."

"We're real," McCoy confirmed. "You're home and safe."

"Home," Jim repeated. They both pretended not to notice the tears that slipped unbidden from Jim's eyes.

"How are you feeling? Bones asked softly.

"Don't know. How long?"

"You were gone from the Enterprise for just over five weeks," Spock said.

Jim frowned at that news, shaking his head. "Five weeks?"

"Yes," Bones agreed.

"Kelel-eld?" Jim asked.

"We stopped the epidemic," Bones said, watching the read-outs from the biobed. He did not like what they were telling him. "Are you in a lot of pain, Jim?"

Jim closed his eyes to try and stop the tears that he didn't want to fall, not otherwise responding to the question. He was still holding tightly to Spock's shirt, unable to release the tangible evidence that he was indeed safely home.

"Where is it the worst?" Bones asked gently, scanning him as they waited to see if he would be able to answer.

He made no response, turning his face into the pillow beneath his head, his breathing labored and uneven.

"Alright. I need to sedate you to repair your fingers. And I know your head hurts. Are you nauseous at all?" Bones asked, threading his fingers into the back of Jim's matted hair.

"No," Jim whispered into the pillow.

"No, you aren't nauseous?"

"Not nauseous," Jim confirmed, the words almost too soft for them to hear.

"Okay. I'm going to put you under. Spock is staying right here. Are you ready?"

Jim's only acknowledgment of Bones' words was to tighten his hold on Spock's uniform, Spock leaning against the biobed and returning his hand in the center of Jim's back so that he would have more of Spock's presence as proof that he was safe. Jim moaned very quietly when McCoy pressed the hypospray against his neck, Bones soothing him with comforting words.

"How can I best assist him?" Spock asked Bones in obvious concern.

"Can you stand to hold his hand? I know you'll be privy to his thoughts but it will help him endure my treatment," McCoy said.

Spock nodded, sitting in the chair next to the biobed as McCoy went to the opposite side. Spock gently untangled Jim's fingers from his uniform, holding his hand between his two warmer ones.

"Can you tell what he's feelin'?" McCoy asked, watching Spock closely.

"He is still frightened. Not of us. He is afraid we will leave him," Spock said, looking inwardly, as though to listen more carefully to Jim's thoughts. "He is in a great deal of pain and is angry."

"Angry?" Bones repeated.

"Yes. At you for not stopping the pain. At me for leaving him on the planet."

"That's understandable," McCoy said, picking up Jim's right hand to examine it more closely, shaking his head. "This is going to be hard on him. If it gets to be too much for you, don't continue to touch him."

Spock nodded, watching as Jim became restless, moving in his sleep. "Have you started?"

"No. Talk to him. It will help," Bones said.

"Talking helps?" Spock asked.

"Yeah. I discovered that at the Academy. He'd have horrible nightmares and when I talked to him, he'd be able to sleep. Most times when it happened, I read my textbooks to him. Helped me study and helped him sleep," Bones explained.

"What was in his dreams that was so disturbing to him?"

"He'd never tell me. So I finally quit asking," McCoy said. He injected Jim's hand with the necessary pain blockers and waiting the requisite time before very carefully breaking the bones that had been healing incorrectly. He noticed that Spock winced as he broke Jim's first finger but he did not relinquish his hold on Jim's uninjured hand as he also broke the others.

Spock began talking to Jim when he shifted again, his voice helping to calm Jim's agitation. Spock told him about the epidemic on Kelel-eld, surprising McCoy when he commended the Doctor for his tireless efforts to reverse the effects of the fever. When he had exhausted that topic, he moved to telling the Captain about the work they had to do on Gahnilaj to prevent a second possible epidemic. He included the fact that no one on the Enterprise was infected by the virus, the inoculations from Starfleet keeping all of them safe. Although they had not been able to save everyone on Kelel-eld, the planetary authorities were grateful that the death toll had been in the double digits, not in the millions as could have happened without the Enterprise's intervention.

McCoy splinted Jim's fingers after using the bone mender on them, assuring Spock that the splints were purely precautionary. Because of the rebreaking, they would be sore and vulnerable for several days.

After telling Jim everything else that he could think of that had happened in the Captain's absence, Spock began to run out of things to say. "Thank you," he said to the Doctor when he brought Spock a cup of fresh tea and a book of Shakespeare. Spock had read a dozen sonnets when Jim moaned softly and shifted on the biobed. The change in his sleeping alerted the Doctor who was beside his bed before he was fully awake.

"Hey," Jim whispered to Spock.

"How are you feeling?" Spock asked quietly, standing closer in case Jim needed to touch him in reassurance.

"I've been better," Jim confessed. "Did you tell me that the epidemic was contained?"

"We did," Spock confirmed, looking over the bed at McCoy.

Jim followed his gaze, slowly turning his head to gaze at the Doctor. "Will I live?"

"Of course. You are way too stubborn to let those birds get you down." When Bones said 'those birds,' Jim winced. "I'm sorry. You don't need to be reminded."

"It s'kay," Jim said, licking his lips. "Thirsty?"

"Of course," Bones agreed, going over for a glass of ice water that had a straw up and ready. "Take it slow."

Jim carefully sipped it, not sure it was going to stay down. "Oh no," he said in warning, giving Bones just enough time to get a towel under his cheek right before the water returned.

"Okay," Bones soothed as Jim coughed in reaction. "Easy. Take a deep breath and you can try it again."

"Mmm…" Jim sighed, breathing as deeply as he could before nodding. Bones gave him the straw, Jim sipping more successfully this time. "Thanks."

"Is there anything else you want, Jim? I have some Pepsi."

"Not yet. Fixed my fingers?"

"Yeah. How are they feeling now?" Bones asked, picking up his hand. He carefully touched the fingertips to make sure they were warm and pink.

"Sore. Better," Jim said, turning to look back at Spock. "Ship's status?"

"All systems report normal."

"Orders?" Jim asked, trying to keep his eyes open just a little longer.

"We are currently on our way to Starbase Skynyrd to pick up Admiral Pike before continuing on to Mekellen to discuss their petition for membership," Spock said.

"Pike doesn't trust us?" Jim asked with a tiny smile.

"I believe his reasons for wishing to come aboard are personal," Spock said as warmly as he ever did.

"Yeah. You tell him I'm okay?" Jim asked.

"I did," McCoy assured him. "He says you are to stay right where you are until he comes to see you."

"Did not," Jim denied, shaking his head.

"Alright," Bones admitted. "You still aren't going anywhere for a couple of days."

"My quarters?" Jim requested.

"A few days. Not yet. You'll be able to sleep here. Spock or I will be with you the whole time."

Jim shook his head. "Other things to do."

"I am off duty for the next two days. Lt. Sulu and Lt. Parmeter will be in command. No doubt Admiral Pike will take at least one shift."

"No doubt," Jim agreed, his eyes drifting closed all by themselves.

"Go to sleep," Bones coaxed, rubbing his back in soothing strokes, careful not to hurt the newly repaired skin, his ribs and spine more prominent than normal, his weight loss making him feel like a skeleton to Bones' touch.

"Mmm…" Jim sighed, losing the battle to sleep, his eyes drifting closed. It wasn't long before he began to shift restlessly, Spock picking up the book of Shakespeare to read more sonnets.

An hour after he started, Bones came and took the book, reading from it and sending Spock to his office to sleep on the couch. "It's not perfect but at least you'll rest," Bones said, refusing to listen to Spock's attempts to stay beside Jim's bed. "I know you haven't been sleepin', Spock. Now stop bein' so stubborn and go lay down."

"Very well. Come for me in two hours."

"I will," Bones agreed, settling in the chair next to Jim's bed and reading to him. He knew more than two hours had elapsed when Spock approached quietly.

"You sleep now, Doctor," Spock said.

Bones nodded, handing Spock the book and laying down on the biobed next to Jim's. Spock covered him with a blanket before sitting between the two beds and reading to Jim in what he hoped was a soothing voice. Jim continued to sleep soundly so Spock knew he was providing to his Captain what he needed.


	3. Chapter 3

Spock continued to read the familiar poetry, appreciating the beauty even as he did not fully concentrate on what he was reading. The part of his mind not engaged in Shakespeare considered just how much Jim's disappearance had disturbed him, although he was loathe to admit it even to himself. Since their rocky start, their relationship had evolved past simply that of Commander and Captain. They had truly become friends. If Spock were completely honest with himself, he would have to admit that part of him wished they had gone beyond just friends. But the Captain had never made any indication that he wanted more than friendship from Spock and Spock was not willing to lose what he had in an attempt to gain what might not be possible.

Even after having been in a relationship with Nyota, one that came to a natural conclusion six months after they left Earth, Spock wasn't sure how one went about crossing the divide from just friends to something much deeper and richer, especially when he didn't know if that's what Jim wanted. And there was certainly no one he could ask. Although he had considered on more than one occasion contacting the Ambassador, he had not yet done so. Spock suspected that the relationship between the Ambassador and the first Kirk was more than friendship and he could only hope that in this circumstance the timelines would indeed mirror one another.

Even Spock lost track of time as he continued to read to Jim, surprised when Lt. Sulu contacted him to inform him that they were about to enter orbit over Starbase Skynyrd.

"Go ahead," Jim's sleepy voice said, his eyes still closed.

"How are you feeling?" Spock asked, standing to approach the bed, studying him more closely.

"Better. Thanks for staying."

"I could be nowhere else," Spock said, looking over at Dr. McCoy who was also studying Jim as he slowly sat up.

"You'll come back with Chris?" Jim asked, his right eye slowly opening to look up at Spock, his left nearly shut from the swelling.

"We will return very shortly," Spock agreed, nodding to the Doctor before leaving the MedBay.

"How are you, really?" Bones asked, studying the readouts.

Jim shrugged, looking up at Bones, his vision slightly blurry. "Did he sleep while I was gone?"

"Not a lot," Bones confirmed. "None of us did much."

"I'm sorry," Jim said.

"You don't need to be sorry, Jim. We couldn't stand the fact that we had to leave you."

"You had no choice," Jim confirmed softly. "Did he get in trouble for trying to stay?"

"No. We still got to Kelel-eld as scheduled. Scotty said warp seven was 'well within Starfleet designation for the safe operation of the Enterprise.'"

"He would," Jim acknowledged. His gaze shifted to his fingers that were bound in splints, covered in blue gauze except for the very tips.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Bones offered.

Jim shook his head. "Not yet," he whispered.

"Alright. You'll have to eventually."

"I will. Not yet."

"Okay," Bones agreed, caressing his hair that was dirty and matted. "You can try taking a shower later on."

"'Kay. Can I sleep in my quarters tonight?"

"Let's wait and see on that."

"'Kay," Jim agreed, taking as deep a breath as he could. "My head still hurts," he admitted reluctantly.

"I'm sorry. It's partly dehydration. Plus sleep deprivation. If I give you a pain reliever, it will make you sleep."

Jim nodded at that, shifting to look at the door as Spock and Pike entered. Pike looked worried, Spock's face a careful blank.

Pike stood next to Jim's bed, shaking his head. "If you wanted me to come for a visit, you could've just asked."

"Next time," Jim promised with a weak smile.

"Good. How are you feeling? Really? I don't want your 'I'm fine' bullshit because I see right through you."

"Bones's the doctor," Jim responded.

Pike looked up at McCoy instead, one eyebrow raised.

"Do you want to hear this, Jim?" Bones asked.

"Don't care. No surprises, right?"

"No," Bones agreed, returning his focus to Pike. "He had multiple lacerations on his back that had gotten infected. His shoulders are hyper-extended. The first three fingers on his right hand were broken and had begun to heal incorrectly. The bruising and swelling around his left eye were accompanied by a deep gash which barely missed his eye. He has a stress induced migraine, partially caused by sleep deprivation. If we hadn't found him when we did, it might have been too late, he was so severely dehydrated. He lost almost 20 pounds which means he barely ate the entire time."

"So," Pike said, one warm, gentle hand on Jim's back. "Business as usual."

"Apparently," Jim agreed softly.

"Prognosis?" Pike asked.

"He has some recovery time yet. A week at the very least." Bones shook his head, frowning down at Jim. "Don't start. I said a week and I mean it."

"Stop being so cranky," Jim said, yawning.

"I seriously doubt this is Dr. McCoy being cranky, Jim," Pike laughed, a nice sound for Jim to have in his ears.

"Thank you, Admiral. It's nice to know _somebody_ respects my bedside manner."

"We all do, Doctor," Spock said, making Bones laugh.

"Sure. I really need to give him a pain reliever which will make him sleep," McCoy said.

"Of course," Pike agreed. "We'll talk when you wake up," Pike said to Jim, his hand still on Jim's back.

"Kay. Thanks," Jim said with a yawn, looking up at Spock, struggling to focus on him. "Can you stay?"

"Of course," Spock agreed, sitting in the chair where Jim could see him. He took Jim's left hand into his, holding tight as Dr. McCoy injected the pain reliever gently into his neck.

"We need to talk, in your office," Pike told McCoy when he was finished.

McCoy nodded, making sure Spock had the book and a cup of tea before following the Admiral into his office and closing the door.

"What happened down there?" Pike asked, pacing in front of Bones' desk as the Doctor sat behind it.

"I can only speculate, Admiral. The Avestanvish are avian in nature, not displaying any human characteristics that the away team could detect. When they found Jim, he was in an aerie, near the top of one of the trees, approximately 25 meters off the ground. There was no way he could get down out of the tree and apparently they didn't provide him regular food or water."

"What did they want with him?" Pike asked.

"Why do we catch birds, sir? He was a curiosity."

"Most people try to keep their birds alive," Pike commented.

"If they know what the bird eats. They would try to find something it will eat or it may accidentally starve to death."

"So you don't believe they had a malicious intent in attacking him?"

"I have no reason to think they intended to harm him, sir."

"And the claw marks on his back?" Pike asked.

"I don't know, sir. Jim isn't ready to discuss it."

"He needs to. He needs to tell us what happened," Pike said.

"He will, sir. It's not in his best interest to insist he talk. He'll tell us when he's ready. Not before."

Pike took a deep breath, shaking his head. "You're right. I know that. What happened to his fingers?"

"I have no idea, sir. I can only imagine that he was defending himself."

"Defending himself?" Pike repeated.

"When he first woke up, he was fighting off his attackers. He didn't recognize that it was me and Spock."

"Why is Spock reading to him, Doctor?" Pike asked, looking through the window to where Spock was sitting next to Jim's bed, reading from the book.

"So Jim will be able sleep, sir. The sound of our voices helps anchor him."

Pike could only nod at that, turning to look at McCoy. "When will he be able to resume command?"

"I'm guessing a little more than a week, sir. He has to heal and gain some weight. Maybe 14 days."

Pike nodded at that. "Very well. I will be able to negotiate with the Mekellens. Would it speed Jim's recovery if he were transferred to the hospital on Starbase Skynryd?"

"With all due respect, sir, Spock and I would have to stay as well. And they have no technology that we don't have aboard our ship," McCoy said more calmly than he felt, congratulating himself for his professionalism.

"Yes," Pike agreed. "You're right. I… well, I know Jim is in the best hands possible. I don't wish you to think I believe otherwise."

"I understand, sir," McCoy lied smoothly. Okay, he did understand. Didn't mean he wasn't pissed that Pike had implied Jim would receive better care on the Starbase.

"Do you suppose the crew will mutiny if I take command for a shift?" Pike asked with a familiar smile almost lighting his eyes.

"Not a chance, sir. We all remember you were our first captain," Bones assured him with a smile that did not completely reach _his_ eyes.

"Thank you, Doctor. There is only one Captain of the Enterprise," Pike said.

"Too right, sir," McCoy agreed, following him out of his office and over to where Spock was still reading to the sleeping Captain. "I'll take over if you want to walk the Admiral to the Bridge."

Spock nodded, handing the book to the Doctor and leaving with Pike. Bones watched them until the door closed behind them, resuming the play Spock had been reading. Jim shifted a few times but did not wake and made no sounds of discomfort. When Spock returned, Bones went to see about the other two patients in the MedBay and to tend those who came in for his assistance.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: This chapter is longer than the ones that came before it. I couldn't find any good place to break it apart. Hope that's okay! And I hope you enjoy it.

Thanks so much to everyone who has commented so far! Reviews = writer crack!!

* * *

"Spock?" Jim whispered after several hours had elapsed.

"I am right here," Spock assured him, standing up so Jim could see him.

Jim reached out and touched him, sighing softly. "I kept dreaming you came for me. Then I'd wake up and you'd be gone. The dreams were so real I'm afraid I'll wake up and be back there."

"You are home, Jim. I am very real."

"I know," Jim said softly. "Do Vulcans dream?"

"Not generally. If I am ill I am more likely to do so. I do not recall ever being plagued by the type of nightmares disrupting your sleep," Spock said. "What may I do to assist you?"

"You're doing it already," Jim said, closing his eyes and frowning slightly. His left hand was holding to Spock's uniform and Spock would not do anything to remove the Captain's grasp although he was the only person Spock would allow to have such casual contact. "They didn't mean to hurt me."

"Did they provide you food?" Spock asked, willing to listen if Jim was ready to talk. The grasp on Spock's shirt grew firmer as Jim began explaining, Spock leaning a little closer in confirmation that he was still with Jim, physically and mentally.

"They tried. I was with the same two Avestanvish the entire time. The aerie I was in had several crushed eggs, not like they had hatched but like they had been broken. I think the female wanted me as a substitute for the hatchlings she didn't have."

"How were you injured?"

Jim took a deep breath, shifting slightly. Spock wasn't sure he was going to answer for a moment, until Jim began to speak. "There were two other Avestanvish who seemed… jealous that mine had me. Those two would come and try to take me away. They would grasp my arms and try to pull me away. That's why my shoulders are… sore. Every time the others came, mine tired to protected me. But there was no place to hide in the aerie. The female would sit on me, when they fought, but they would still accidentally scrape me with their talons," Jim explained very softly.

"And they were unable to provide you with anything you could eat?" Spock asked in an even tone.

"They brought me what they eat – grass, bugs. Berries the size of a cantaloupe. Huge worms that looked like snakes. They were….." Jim shivered and stopped.

"I can imagine," Spock said quietly, nodding to the Doctor as he approached. "And you could not get down."

"It was up way too high. Several times the male Avestanvish allowed me to climb on his back and he flew me over the trees. It was very….well, it was like being a bird. They did it once they really trusted me," Jim said, taking a deep breath. "The female would fuss, like she was telling him not to drop me."

"Could you communicate with them at all?" McCoy asked, studying Jim and seeing the strain written in the lines on his face.

"We finally managed, after a fashion. It wasn't easy. They tried to care for me the best they could. The female would groom me which just ended up destroying my uniform. Fortunately the planet was warm during the day."

"And at night?" Spock asked, pulling up the blanket so that Jim's bare shoulders were completely covered.

"I slept between them. They kept me warm. It wasn't very cold and they were good insulation," Jim said, coughing slightly and licking his lips. He took another deep breath, not inclined to say anything more at the moment.

"Do you want something to drink?" Bones asked, wanting to offer him whatever comfort he could. Water wasn't going to solve Jim's biggest problems but it was something tangible McCoy could provide.

"I don't think so," Jim decided in a quiet voice. "Chris on the Bridge?"

"He is. He assured me he will relinquish command when you are fully recovered," Spock said.

"Doesn't need to worry 'bout me. It's everybody else," Jim said with a tiny smile and a huge yawn.

"True," Bones concurred. "You need to go back to sleep. Spock or I will be here the entire time."

"'Kay," Jim agreed reluctantly, surrendering to the sleep he could not keep at bay, no matter how badly he wanted to.

~o0o~

As promised, when he woke the next time, Spock was still in the chair next to him, meditating, his eyes closed, his breathing even.

"Hey," Jim whispered.

"Jim," Spock said, opening his eyes to look over at this Captain. "Are you feeling more rested?"

"I guess," Jim said with a shrug. "Where's Bones?"

"Checking on the other patients. I feel certain he will return momentarily."

"Probably," Jim agreed. "How long did I sleep this time?"

"One hour and 34 minutes," Spock said, watching Dr. McCoy approach.

"How are you feelin'?" Bones asked, studying the biobed readouts, a hand on Jim's back.

"You know. Ready to run the Starfleet marathon," Jim joked.

"Sure," Bones agreed, touching his forehead lightly. "No fever. That's a pleasant change."

"It's different," Jim agreed, licking his lips.

"You need to drink some water. As much as you can," Bones said, turning to pour some into a glass.

"It won't stay down," Jim said.

"You nauseous?" Bones asked.

"Yeah."

McCoy frowned at that, scanning him and checking the readouts. He looked up at Spock, a distinctly worried expression on his face.

"What?" Jim asked, watching the silent communication.

"You have an intestinal blockage. From not drinking for too long," McCoy explained.

"What's it mean?" Jim asked.

"It means I'm goin' to have to try and clear it out," Bones said. "Does your stomach hurt?"

Jim shrugged at that. "I guess. It's hard to know."

"And what method do you employ to facilitate the clearing out, Doctor?" Spock asked in a completely neutral voice.

"Since you can't keep anything down, the most effective method is to administer an enema." McCoy shook his head when Jim groaned softly. "I know. But it won't be so bad."

"Yuck," Jim said with a frown.

"If you could drink enough water, it wouldn't be necessary. But right now we don't have much choice."

"I know," Jim said with a sigh. "Can Spock stay?"

"It's going to be awkward and… personal but I have no objections," McCoy assured him, looking over at Spock.

"I have no objections. Fortunately, embarrassment is a particularly human emotion, one from which I rarely suffer."

"Rarely?" Jim repeated, loosening his grip on Spock's shirt but not releasing it altogether.

"I know that you intentionally embarrass me when you are presented with the opportunity," Spock said, making Jim shrug.

"Yeah. Sorry," Jim said not entirely sincerely.

"I have no objections, Captain. It is part of what makes you so…unique."

McCoy laughed at that. "Unique. That's a good word for him."

"Indeed," Spock said with his characteristic raised eyebrow.

"I'll need to move you into one of the exam rooms, Jim. Do you want Spock to carry you?"

"Yeah. You don't mind, do you?" Jim asked, looking up at Spock.

"I do not," Spock assured him.

"Alright," Bones said. "I have to set things up. It'll take me about 15 minutes. In the meantime, Spock, will you go to his quarters and get him some pajamas? Then he won't have to stay naked under the blankets."

"Certainly, Doctor," Spock agreed.

"Good. Okay, I'm going to send Christine over to keep an eye on you until I come back," Bones said.

"'Kay," Jim agreed, watching Bones walk away. "Thanks," he said softly to Spock when they were alone.

"No thanks are required, Jim," Spock assured him, a warm hand on his back. He waited until Nurse Chapel arrived before Jim released his shirt so that he could leave after promising Jim he would be back as soon as he could.

"Not feeling so great, huh, Captain?" Christine asked in a soothing voice.

"I've been better," he agreed.

"Two weeks under the Doctor's watchful eye and you'll be back up and around, just as good as new."

"Unless he drives me crazy," Jim said with a crooked smile.

"Chances are good, sir," Christine laughed.

"Yeah. Who else's in here?"

"Ensign Trinh is recovering from a laceration on her right thigh. And Lieutenant Dorset may have the flu. Those results aren't back yet."

"What'd Trinh do?" Jim asked.

"I'm not entirely sure, Captain. Doctor said it was a deep cut and she'll be here a couple of days."

"Work accident?"

"Yes, sir. She was on duty in Engineering. Mr. Scott helped her come down. She lost a fair amount of blood but she's on the mend now," Christine explained.

"Okay. I haven't heard Ensign Curry come to visit. And he's hard to miss since he always seems to use his outside voice," the Captain said, making Christine laugh.

"He's been down, sir. I believe they may have had an argument but Trudy doesn't want to talk about it so I'm not entirely sure."

"Ask Uhura. She'll know."

"Know what?" Bones asked when he returned to stand beside Jim's bed.

"If Trinh and Curry are fighting," Christine explained.

"They are," Bones confirmed. "I won't let them fight here so Curry leaves after just a few minutes."

"What happened?" Jim asked as much to keep his mind off of what was about to happen to him as a real interest in knowing.

"Something about red roses? She wanted them and he got her white. Which in her country means someone has died?" Bones said in some uncertainty.

"He wouldn't have done it on purpose," Christine said in his defense.

"I think she knows that. But they were already on the outs. So who knows," Bones said, watching Spock return with Jim's dark blue pajamas in his hands. "I'll take those. You carry Jim into exam room 4."

Spock nodded, waiting as the Doctor helped Jim slowly turn over onto his back before carefully picking him and his blankets up, carrying him into the designated exam room. McCoy walked close beside with the canister for Jim's IV that was secured with a bandage to his left arm.

Jim tried very hard not to let his embarrassment at being carried show, but he knew all too well that he'd have never made it to the exam room under his own power even if McCoy had allowed him to try.

Spock very gently deposited the Captain onto the table, Jim following McCoy's instructions to lay on his side, his leg drawn up to his chest. It was awkward but not uncomfortable to lay in that position. McCoy erected a curtain over his waist, Spock sitting by Jim's head so that the more intimate portions of the procedure were hidden from him.

"Did you bring the book in?" Spock asked Dr. McCoy.

"Yeah. It's on the shelf behind you," Bones said, pointing over to it.

Spock picked it up, opening it to the place in _Romeo and Juliet_ where they had previously stopped. "Do you wish to continue with this play or do you prefer a different one?"

"Read _Twelfth Night_," Jim requested. He flinched slightly when Bones brushed up against his backside, trying very hard to lay still.

"Relax, Jim," Bones warned before inserting the tube into Jim's body. "Okay?"

"Yeah. Fine."

"It's not hurting you, is it?''

"You know it doesn't," Jim said, closing his eyes which meant he missed Spock's surprised expression at the comment. As surprised as Spock ever looked.

"Alright. I'm going to let the fluid in. You know you're going to have some cramping. Breathe – don't hold your breath."

"I'm okay," Jim said, only a little strain in his voice.

"Okay. Do you need me to massage your stomach to ease your cramps?" Bones asked, standing up to see his face and try to judge the amount of discomfort he was feeling. He still looked fairly relaxed so Bones sat back down, assured by Jim's insistence that he wasn't in any pain.

Spock continued to read the play in an even voice but there was a line etched between his eyebrows which generally meant his carefully controlled emotions were closer to the surface than normal. He tried to concentrate on the words he was reading, not the meaning behind the comments that the Doctor and the Captain had exchanged.

"You still doin' okay?" McCoy asked Jim.

"Yeah. How much longer?"

"Few minutes. It will help hydrate you too. I know you don't like it but it will help."

"Yeah," Jim had to agree.

"Have you administered this procedure before?" Spock finally asked, sounding more stern than he intended.

"I've been his doctor for 4 and a half years, Spock," McCoy responded, glad Spock couldn't see the mild amusement on his face. Bones knew why Spock was asking but he was pretty sure Spock himself didn't know.

"He has previously experienced intestinal blockages of this sort?" Spock asked.

"I'm right here," Jim said, also amused at Spock's interest.

"Yes. Do you suffer often from this sort of blockage, sir?"

"No. But unfortunately this is an effective corrective measure for other concerns," Jim said more coherently than he would have thought possible.

"I see," Spock said, looking from Jim's face back to the book.

"It's not like I have to do it on a regular basis," Bones said, trying very hard not to laugh at poor Spock's indignation.

"I never intended to imply that you would," Spock said.

"Still here," Jim said.

"Yes," Spock agreed, turning his full attention to the book and picking up with the play where he had left off reading it, his voice a little tight.

"Bones?" Jim said in request after a few tense minutes.

"Another two minutes, Jim," McCoy promised, Jim sighing and trying hard to relax and wait.

"Uhmm…" Jim groaned quietly, McCoy coming to the side of the exam table.

"Okay. Deep breath," he coaxed, massaging the hard muscles of Jim's stomach. "Breathe."

"Uhm…" Jim groaned again, licking his lips. "I need to… uhm…, you know, go."

"I know it feels that way. Another minute. Then you can release it," Bones said gently as he continued to rub his stomach.

Jim closed his eyes against the building discomfort, concentrating on breathing in and out.

Spock watched, concern reflected in his eyes at the Captain's obvious pain. "Doctor?"

"I know, Spock. He's okay. You nauseous at all?" he asked Jim.

"A little. Not bad," Jim decided, his voice strained.

"Alright. Can you hold out another minute?"

"Yeah," Jim agreed, breathing deeply again.

"Do you want to try drinking some water?" McCoy offered.

"Not yet. Not until after," Jim said quietly.

"Alright."

Spock resumed reading the play, filling the silence with the ancient words that helped soothe them all.

"Okay," McCoy finally announced after what Jim was sure was at least half an eternity. "Spock, you need to step out."

"Very well," Spock agreed, standing and putting the book in the chair. "I will go to the Bridge and return in 15 minutes. Will that be sufficient time?"

"That will be fine. If he feels up to it, I'm going to help him shower," Bones said, returning to the end of the exam table.

"Very well," Spock repeated, glancing down at the Captain once more. "Is there anything you require, sir?"

"No. Thanks," Jim said, turning his head enough to look up at Spock. "Come back, please."

"I will," Spock agreed, leaving the MedBay, too many thoughts in his head to satisfactorily sort out. He automatically made his way to the Bridge, glancing at everyone at their stations.

"How is he, Spock?" Admiral Pike asked from where he was sitting in Jim's, no, the Captain's chair.

"He has been awake for 21.58 minutes. He is receiving treatment from Dr. McCoy," Spock explained absently, those on the Bridge certain that he was mentally still in MedBay with the Captain.

"I am relieving you of duty, Spock, until we need you more than Jim does," the Admiral said kindly.

"Thank you, sir," Spock said, surprising those who heard. They had been sure he would argue with Pike, insisting that he was needed on the Bridge.

"Well," Pike said with a laugh. "I guess I expected an argument."

"You are in command, sir. Which means the Enterprise is in good hands. The Mekellens will not negotiate with Vulcans so I cannot go with you to the surface."

"True," Pike agreed with the same warm smile. "When was the last time you had something to eat?"

"I am not certain, sir," Spock admitted.

"Go and eat something. Consider it an order," Pike said.

"Yes sir," Spock agreed absently.

"Do I need to send someone with you to make sure?"

"No sir. I will go directly to the mess and eat," Spock assured him.

"Very good. And keep us posted on Jim," the Admiral requested.

"You can be certain that I will, sir," Spock agreed, leaving the Bridge and going directly to the Mess. When he had his food, he went to the Captain's table, not surprised that Scotty was there already. "Did the Admiral send you?"

"Maybe," Scotty laughed. "He might've said something along the lines of keeping you company."

"I see," Spock said, eating some of his food. "Status of Engineering?"

"Conditions are optimal, sir. How's the Captain?"

"He will recover. It will take some time for him to overcome the results of the circumstances in which he was held."

"Was he really in a bird nest all that time?" Scotty asked, sipping his coffee.

"The Avestanvish who took him kept him in their aerie. They attempted to provide him food but failed to account for his Human nature."

"Oh. I'm guessing he didn't eat the bugs."

"He said that they brought him worms the size of snakes," Spock said, making Scotty shiver at the thought.

"Gracious."

Spock nodded at that, eating more of his lunch. "Did the Admiral inform you that he has relieved me of duty?"

"He did. Makes sense. The Captain needs you more than we do right now," Scotty confirmed.

"That is what he said as well," Spock said, studying his food.

"I don't mean to pry, Spock, but do you want to talk?"

Spock looked up at Scotty's open, understanding face, momentarily tempted to accept the other man's offer. But he knew he could not confide in the Engineer. There was only one person who was owed this explanation and Spock was now even more certain that he would never be afforded the opportunity to say those words. "Thank you, Mr. Scott. I believe I will reach a measure of resolution."

"That's fine then. If you were to change your mind, you know where you might find me," Scotty reminded him, respecting his need to sort it out for himself.

"I do," Spock said, returning his focus to his food. Scotty proceeded to tell him about what was going on in Engineering, aware that the information was neither important nor all that interesting. He was equally aware that Spock appreciated the distraction even though the Commander would never articulate that gratitude.

"Dr. McCoy to Commander Spock," the intercom said in need of attention.

"Spock here," he responded when he made his way to the wall.

"Jim's askin' about you. You comin' down?"

"The Captain is feeling better?" Spock asked.

"Much better. He drank a small glass of water that stayed down."

"That is good news, Doctor. I am currently in the Mess and will be there momentarily."

"That's fine then," McCoy responded.

"I am with Mr. Scott. Might he come visit as well?"

"Sure. Jim's safe in bed with his pajamas on," McCoy said.

"Very well. We will be there shortly. Spock out." He turned to Scotty who was standing by the counter where he had disposed of the Commander's tray. "Thank you."

"It's na' any problem," Scotty assured him.

"Do you have the time to come to sickbay?" Spock asked as they left the mess.

"Of course. Be good to see the Captain. I missed him mightily while he was gone," Scotty said.

"As did we all," Spock agreed, his voice not quite so carefully neutral as he would have liked to believe.

Scotty made no response to that, wondering as did the entire Command Crew, when they would finally break down those barriers and admit how they felt. Well, it wasn't any of his business and they would speak the words when they were ready. But then he was a good one to be thinking about the stubborn Captain and Commander when he had wanted to talk to Uhura for some time and had never actually worked up the nerve.

He puts those rampant thoughts aside as they entered MedBay and were directed by Nurse Chapel to exam room 4 which had been turned into a private recovery room for the Captain.

"He doesn't sleep in the general Bay," Dr. McCoy said when Spock and Scotty were inside with them. Spock was studying the Doctor with an intensity that Jim found a little unnerving but did not comment on it.

"I do so," Kirk denied.

McCoy just snorted at him. "I need to make rounds. You two will stay until I get back?"

"Sure," Scotty agreed, Spock nodding. Scotty moved to stand just next to the bed, smiling at the Captain who was sitting up, supported by the bed that had been elevated at the top. "You are looking fine, sir. Not as rough as I expected."

"Thank you, Scotty," Jim said. "A shower and a glass of water can make a huge difference."

Scotty laughed at that. "I can imagine, sir. Have you eaten anything?"

"Not yet. Bones promised me some soup later. I'm pretty sure it will stay down," Jim said, glancing at Spock who was watching their conversation silently. "I hear Pike relieved you of duty."

"He did, sir," Spock agreed.

"You don't mind?" Jim asked.

"I do not. I understand the purpose of his order," Spock said.

Jim nodded at that, turning back to Scotty. "How's things in Engineering?"

"Couldn't be better, sir." Scotty proceeded to spend the next twenty minutes telling him how things could actually be better, Jim listening but truthfully not really paying a lot of attention.

"Ask the Admiral if he'll sign those requisitions while he's in command," Jim suggested, unable to stop a yawn.

"I'll do that, sir. I better go. Doctor will have my hide if I wear you out," Scotty said.

"I doubt that," Jim said with a smile. "Thanks for stopping by."

"I'll come again this evenin' if you're up to it."

"I'd like that," the Captain agreed, watching him leave after a final word of farewell. "Have a seat," he invited Spock when they were alone.

Spock sat stiffly, staring straight ahead, his hands clasped in his lap.

"What's wrong, Spock?" Jim finally asked into the uncomfortable silence.

"Nothing is amiss, sir," Spock said, still not looking at him.

"I don't believe you," Jim said firmly. "I know when something is up. Are you angry because Pike relieved you of duty?"

"Anger is a Human emotion, Captain," Spock said automatically.

"Yeah. One you feel as well. There's no point in pretending otherwise, not with me."

"I am not angry about being relieved of duty," Spock finally responded.

"Well, something has you out of sorts," Jim stated, seeing the tension in every line of Spock's body. "You may as well tell me, because I will figure it out."

"You need to rest," Spock responded, trying to divert the Captain's attention to his own needs. "Would you like me to read more of the play for you?"

"What I would like is for you to tell me the truth," Jim said in a stern voice, as stern as he could make it right before he yawned.

"I am not withholding any truth, sir," Spock said evenly, slowly looking over at Jim. Jim's eyes were fiercely blue, a sign of the anger he was barely holding in check. Spock considered that momentarily before picking up the book.

"Don't hide behind Shakespeare," Jim said.

"I am not hiding, sir," Spock replied, closing the book and putting it on the shelf and staring down at his hands. "Did you shower by yourself?" he finally asked as though the words were coming from his mouth of their own volition. Surely he had not intended to say them. But they were out now. He could not take them back.

"What?" Jim asked in surprise.

"Did you manage to shower by yourself?" Spock asked, his tone one of uncertainty, a reflection of the fact that he wasn't sure why he was asking.

"No. McCoy helped me," Jim said, watching Spock to see if Spock would or could explain the impetus behind his question.

"He was in with you," Spock said flatly. Why that idea seemed to anger Spock was a mystery to Jim but it was clear he was disturbed by what he thought had happened.

"No he wasn't. He helped me in, waited while I showered, and helped me out. He also had to wash my hair. It's kind of hard with three broken fingers. Why the sudden interest in my bathing habits?" Jim asked.

"He changed clothes in the time I was gone," Spock said, very carefully not looking over at the Captain. He didn't want to see the guilt on Jim's face or allow him to see the anger on his own.

"Well, yeah. He got wet helping me. So?" Jim prompted, wondering what the hell the point of this conversation was. He and Spock had had some weird chats in their time but this one topped them all in the what-the-hell category.

"Helping you shower is… intimate in nature," Spock said, his words no help in clearing up the confusion the conversation was causing Jim. Maybe it was a residual effect of being on the planet that Jim couldn't follow the conversation. Maybe all of the pain relievers weren't out of his system and he was too doped up to understand what Spock was talking about.

"Intimate?" Jim repeated, trying the word out for himself. Maybe repeating it would add clarity? "Intimate."

"Yes," Spock said, finally looking back at Jim before turning away from the anger still simmering below the surface. "You and he… are…." Spock stopped, unwilling or unable to finish his thought.

"We are what?" Jim asked, a hard edge to his voice that spoke volumes about how hard it was for him to keep rein on his tightly controlled emotions. "If you have something to say, Spock, just spit it out. I'm too damn tired to try and figure out what you aren't saying."

"That would not be appropriate," Spock announced, standing up. "You need to sleep. I will leave you so that you may."

"Fine," Jim said, that one word conveying a whole catalog of emotions.

Spock hesitated as though he had something else he wanted to add but one look at the anger on the Captain's face made him change his mind. He left the exam room, not speaking to anyone on his way out, making it to his quarters before anyone had the chance to speak to him.

"Where'd Spock go?" McCoy asked Jim when he entered the room. Jim was laying still, staring up at the ceiling but Bones could see him silently seething.

"Who the hell knows."

"What happened?" Bones asked in confusion. "I thought he was stayin'."

"I thought so too. But something about you helping me shower pissed him off," Jim said, closing his eyes. "Who the hell knows with him. Why should I even care? He clearly doesn't."

"I helped you shower. That pissed him off?" Bones asked.

"Yeah. Fine. He doesn't want to stay, fine," Jim said, taking a deep breath before looking over at Bones. "Is it me or is he…irrational?"

"It's not you, Jim," Bones promised. "I'll be back shortly."

"Where are you going? Are you pissed at me too now?" Jim asked, his anger morphing into something harder to hear.

"Don't be stupid. I'll be back in a few minutes. Go to sleep. Do you want me to send Christine in?"

"No. I'm fine. Too angry right now to sleep. And don't call me stupid."

"I only do when you deserve it," McCoy said, tucking the blankets more firmly around him before handing him a glass of water. "Try to drink this while I'm gone. Slowly."

Jim nodded and stared at the water in his left hand which was better than looking at the Doctor who would see the truth in his eyes, the truth of how much it hurt him that Spock had left.

McCoy made his swift way to Spock's quarters, barely waiting to be invited before barging in. "What the _fuck_ is wrong with you?" he demanded when he was standing in front of Spock's desk.

"Profanity is not called for," Spock responded, looking up at him with frozen black eyes.

"It most certainly is called for. What the fuck are you thinkin'? You left MedBay 'cause I had to help him take a shower?" As was so often the case, the more worked up the Doctor became, the thicker his accent became. If they hadn't been about to come to blows, some part of Spock might have been amused by McCoy's deteriorating ability to hold his accent at bay.

"My presence is unnecessary so long as you are nearby."

"Bullshit, Spock. That's just pure t bullshit," McCoy informed him a little too loudly.

"The intimate nature of your relationship renders…."

"Whoa. Stop right there. Intimate nature?" McCoy demanded. "What _intimate_ nature?"

"How else would you describe your relationship with the Captain?" Spock asked, standing up so McCoy could no longer tower over him in his anger.

"I'm his best friend. And his fuckin' doctor. _That_ is the nature of our relationship. What has gotten in that brain of yours? What the hell is goin' on between them pointed ears?" Things had gotten really bad when he resorted to using 'them' when in fact he meant 'those'. This could be taken as a sign of the pending apocalypse.

"You and the Captain are no longer lovers?" Spock asked, certain of his position and that the Doctor was lying to him, his indignation and thickening Southern drawl none-with-standing.

"Lovers? What the fuck? We've never had sex, Spock. Never."

"You and he are not…."

"I just fuckin' said we weren't - aren't – hadn't. Why do you keep on askin' me? For the love of Pete, Spock. He's my best friend. That's it," McCoy repeated, hoping this time Spock would actually hear him.

"You were very casual about the intimate procedure you performed. And you assisted him in showering."

"I. Am. His. Doctor," McCoy said, enunciating each word clearly. "I have been his Doctor since we entered the Academy. I was already a doctor, you might recall. Jim hates all doctors, 'specially me. But he trusts me 'nough to allow me to treat him. And yeah, sure, sometimes those treatments are _intimate_. But they are medical, Spock. They are necessary."

Spock stood stock still and looked at McCoy, trying to absorb the words that the Doctor had said. His world seemed to have tilted ever so slightly, the truths he was so certain of ten minutes earlier no longer valid. This was...this meant that he had left the Captain for no logical reason. He had walked out on him.

"When Jim first woke up, Spock, whose shirt did he hold onto like his life depended on it? Mine?" McCoy asked in a more modulated, less heavily accented tone.

"No," Spock acknowledged.

"It was yours. And you know why. You're too scared or too mule-like to admit it. And you used my relationship with Jim, _as his doctor,_ as an excuse to run from what you really feel for him." McCoy watched him consider those words as well. He knew he was finally starting to get through to Spock. He had suspected for some time that Spock thought that he and Jim were…well, more than friends. But it had never come to a head before. Because this was the first time Spock had reacted like a jealous schoolgirl. Lord have mercy. Why did this Vulcan have to be so stubborn? "And, Spock, in case you aren't sure that you ought to be there instead of here, tell me again why Jim was angry as I was rebreakin' his fingers. Tell me what you said to me then," McCoy demanded.

"He was angry that you allowed him to remain in pain, and that I had left him," Spock said almost too softly for McCoy to hear.

"That you had left him. And what did you just do, Spock? To your best friend? The one person in this Universe that would give up everything for you."

"I left him."

"You sure as shootin' did. And why? 'Cause you thought him and me were more than friends."

"He and I," Spock corrected automatically, taking a tiny step backwards when he realized to whom he had said it and that person's current mental state.

"Yeah. I know. When I get all worked up, my English takes flight. But you know full well what I mean."

"Yes," Spock admitted very quietly, sitting down to study his hands. "I apologize."

"You don't owe me an apology. You owe it to Jim. And you owe it to you both to tell him the truth."

"He might not accept the truth," Spock said quietly.

"Don't make this his fault too," McCoy warned. "Why does he want you to stay? Because of your amusin' conversation and lively personality?"

"No," Spock admitted, looking up at McCoy. "You are right. I owe him an explanation. If he is still speaking to me."

"He is. Tell him the truth or so help me you'll be confined to MedBay with two broken kneecaps."

"So noted, Doctor." Spock stood, pulling down his uniform shirt and straightening his spine in resolve. "I will tell him the truth."

"Good. And don't expect to return to your quarters until Jim can."

"Understood," Spock agreed, following McCoy out and back to MedBay. Spock went directly to Jim's room, McCoy busying himself elsewhere.

Jim was watching the door, staring at Spock as he entered. His face was clouded and Spock thought he saw anger mixed with something else in the depths of those blue eyes.

"Captain… Jim," Spock said, standing just next to his bed.

"Spock," Jim returned, looking at him, lines of exhaustion on his face but he was determined to stay awake just a few more minutes.

"I owe you an apology."

"You do?" Jim asked.

"Yes. I was under the impression that you and the Doctor share a relationship of an intimate nature," Spock said evenly, hoping he sounded sincere but he wasn't entirely sure if he succeeded.

"I see," Jim said, not helping him at all.

"He explained that my belief was in error," Spock said.

"Why would you care if we were having sex?" Jim asked, the one question Spock had really hoped he wouldn't.

"Because I…" Spock stopped, refusing to finish that statement.

"Do you know how many members of our crew I've had sex with since I became Captain?" Jim asked, his tone softer, his expression milder.

"I have no way of knowing that, sir," Spock said.

"None, Spock. Not one."

"Oh," Spock said uncharacteristically. "I would have calculated the number somewhat higher."

"Yeah. Most people would. And that is exactly the same number of times I've had sex with Bones. Ever."

"I see," Spock said, thinking that he really was beginning to understand. A light was dawning, slowly it was true, but bright none-the-less. "Perhaps then, when you are fully recovered, you and I might change that particular statistic. Not the one concerning you and the doctor." To Spock's relief, Jim laughed at his statement.

"I knew which statistic you meant," Jim assured him with a smile. "Changing the other statistic. Is that what you really want?" Spock was fairly sure he was being teased by his Captain and he found he did not mind in the least.

"I have for some time," Spock confirmed. "I trust you have as well."

"Oh yeah," Jim agreed. "When I was…gone, I dreamed about you almost every time I slept. You were there and I was safe. I'm pretty sure it was one of the only reasons I survived."

"I am grateful that you did," Spock said, taking Jim's left hand into his and holding tightly to it. "Sleep now. I will not leave you again."

"Thank you," Jim said, laying back and closing his eyes, almost instantly asleep. Spock's presence brought with it the security he needed and he no longer had to fight to stay awake, fearful of the dreams if he slept.

_TBC_


	5. Chapter 5

When he woke, it was to the sound of soft voices nearby. His left hand was still warmer than the rest of him, Spock's hands surrounding his. He lay still, trying to decide if it was worth the effort to open his eyes. He didn't think he would like the results when he did and chose not to move until he had absolutely no choice.

"How long has he been asleep?" the voice he knew belonged to Admiral Pike asked.

"Five hours," Bones' voice responded. "I expect he'll be wakin' up any time now."

Jim knew that meant that Bones knew he was already awake. Damn sensors. At least Spock hadn't given him away. Jim gave up the pretense and allowed his eyes to slowly open. Not good. The room was spinning and his temporary bed wanted to throw him off. He closed his eyes back tight, taking his left hand from Spock and holding it over his mouth. A futile effort but he had to at least give it a try.

"Oh dear," Bones said from closer by. "Vertigo?"

Jim may have nodded but didn't bother to try and figure it out. Seriously, had the Enterprise lost all her gravitational stabilizers? "Bones," he croaked in desperate need.

"Okay, Jim. Try to relax. I know it's hard. Here. This will help." And with that, Jim felt the all too familiar plunging of the hypo into his neck. Crap, he hated it when Bones did that to him.

"Bad," Jim whispered, his left arm over his eyes, the IV line trailing across his face.

"I know. The medicine will help in just a minute," Bones soothing voice promised.

"How did you know he has vertigo?" Pike's voice asked quietly as though he didn't want to risk waking Jim up. Which was a little silly, Jim thought while enveloped in his fog. 'I'm not asleep.'

"It almost always happens to him, sir," Bones explained. "The meclizine will help in a few minutes. Then he'll be able to open his eyes without worrying about falling off the bed."

"Falling off the bed?" Pike repeated in barely disguised amusement.

"Unfortunately, it has happened in the past, sir," Spock said. "We try not to leave the Captain unattended if at all possible."

"I see," Pike said, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, Jim. I know it's not funny."

"Not to me," Jim said, slowly lowering his arm to focus on the Admiral. "I'm used to it. Apparently my medical conditions are a vast source of amusement to the entire crew."

"Stop being so cranky," Bones scolded gently.

"I think I have every right to be cranky," Jim decided, frowning up at the Doctor.

"Well, sure. But what Earthly good does it do you?"

"None," Jim conceded. "Can I have something to eat?"

"You have vertigo and you're hungry?" Pike asked in amusement.

"Well," Jim said, considering the question. "The hypo helped. And I haven't eaten much of anything in… a while."

"True," Pike had to agree. He looked over at the Doctor who nodded.

"I'll get you some soup. Tomorrow you can try something more solid," Bones said.

"Thanks. Could I have a little Pepsi?" Jim requested.

"A little," Bones agreed before leaving the room and Jim in the safe company of the Admiral and Spock.

"Your head isn't spinning now?" Pike asked in sympathy, sitting down in the chair that had mysteriously appeared, Spock in the other.

"Not like it was," Jim said, taking a deep breath and coughing softly as a result.

"That sounds bad," Pike decided.

"No, it's normal," Jim assured him. "Too many previously broken ribs apparently."

Pike could only shake his head at that, smiling at Jim fondly. "You are a mess."

"I know. Thankfully I have the best CMO in the 'fleet."

"Good thing for you and your crew," Pike confirmed.

"I think so," Jim agreed. "How's things on my Bridge?"

"The Bridge is fine. The Enterprise is fine. The crew can barely stand having anybody that's not you in the center seat," Pike told him.

"I find the same to be true," Spock added.

"I'm sorry?" Jim said with a tiny shrug.

"You shouldn't be," Pike assured him. "If you weren't the finest Captain in the 'fleet, your crew wouldn't miss you the way they do."

"Thank you," Jim said sincerely. "I have the finest crew."

"That you do," Pike agreed. "That you do. We will arrive at Mekellen in 34 hours. Since they won't negotiate with Spock, I'd like to know from you who to assign to the away team."

"The Mekellens won't talk to Spock?" Jim asked.

Pike and Spock exchanged a glance at that question before Spock broke the silence. "It is well known that since the destruction of my planet, the Mekellens consider the presence of a Vulcan an ill omen."

"Oh," Jim said with a frown. "Well. You'll want to take Uhura. And…uhm…" Jim looked at Spock in question, hoping he would be able to add to the list. If one person qualified as a list.

"I'm sorry, Jim. You're clearly not up to this just yet," Pike said in apology, glancing again at Spock. "We'll discuss it again tomorrow morning."

"Okay," Jim agreed.

"Do you have a headache?" Spock asked, studying him closely, his black eyes not missing anything, including the furrows on Jim's forehead.

"No. But I do feel like my brain is wrapped in a thick fog," Jim admitted, taking a deep breath.

"I think that's to be expected," Pike said, one hand over Jim's.

"What's expected?" Bones asked as he entered with a bowl in one hand, a glass of bubbling Pepsi in the other.

"Jim stated that he feels as though his brain is shrouded in fog," Spock explained.

"It is normal, Jim," Bones assured him. "It's a wonder you are as coherent as you are."

Jim nodded at that, using his left hand to awkwardly try and eat the soup being held by the Doctor, the spoon not entirely stable as he brought to his mouth.

"I think I'm going to get some dinner myself," Pike decided, standing. "I'll come back tomorrow, if you don't mind."

"I look forward to it," Jim said with a tiny smile on his weary face.

"So do I. Sleep well," Pike said, patting his shoulder before leaving.

"Let me help you," Bones said, sitting on the edge of Jim's bed and spooning up the soup for him.

"This is ridiculous," Jim complained as he accepted more soup.

"Stop being cranky," Bones scolded, giving him more. "Your shoulders are still sore. Your right hand is unavailable. And you have never been able to eat with your left."

"Why do you keep calling me names?" Jim asked but not managing to sound as indignant as he would prefer.

"Because you deserve it. And cranky is more an adjective than a name per se."

"You called me stupid earlier," Jim reminded him.

"Only because you deserved it," Bones responded.

Spock silently observed their comfortable by-play, knowing that he was quite possibly the only person they would allow to witness this unique way they had of communicating. Or the fact that the Doctor was essentially feeding the Captain. Being in their company made him feel like he was home.

Home. That word had various meanings and degrees, Spock decided as he watched Bones continue to provide Jim with the soup.

He mourned the loss of Vulcan, as did every surviving member of his species, and many of those who were not Vulcan. But in truth, it had never been home to him. Where he lived, yes. Where he grew up and was educated. That did not make a place a home. Home was where you were accepted completely and without question. Where you did not have to explain yourself or try to be someone you were not.

Earth had become more comfortable to Spock after he had been there for several years. But it was not home either. The Enterprise was home. When the Captain was aboard. Home was not a location. It was an idea, a concept, a warmth that you felt for those around you, a warmth that they felt for you. Maybe his Vulcan heritage should have made him immune to such thoughts, and to his sentimental attachment to the ship and those aboard her. But he refused to deny the sense of security and belonging that he had been granted by virtue of being a member of Jim Kirk's crew.

He knew that not all starships were as fortunate as was theirs. He had heard of the rivalries that threatened to destroy some crews, the bitterness that grew from too many people living and working in too confined a space. The Enterprise was not immune from all in-fighting but their crew was by far the most harmonious that he had ever experienced. And he was certain that the atmosphere on their ship was quite different from the norm. For that they all owed thanks to their unique Captain. The crew did not work as one cohesive unit, one family really, purely by happenstance. Jim made sure. He led by example, showing his crew the way with his kindness, his self-discipline, his willingness to put others before himself. And he encouraged laughter and smiles. 'A happy crew is a productive crew,' he told Spock when he asked why there seemed to be so many more "special" occasions aboard their ship than any other.

"When we celebrate something as simple as the summer solstice or as silly as Talk Like A Pirate Day, we're celebrating our friendship," Jim explained. Spock could not argue with his logic or his method, although many suspected there be madness in it. He had watched the 430+ crewmembers go from co-workers to friends to family. As it should be.

"As soon as you can walk to the bathroom by yourself," McCoy was saying in a tone Spock knew to be one of exasperation.

"Tomorrow night," Jim countered in his best 'I have more aces than you' tone, one to which the Doctor was completely immune.

"No. When you can get to the bathroom I said. You haven't moved under your own power for more than a month. You honestly believe I have any intention of letting you go from Med Bay until I know you are on your way to being well?"

"Spock. Help me out here," Jim requested, swatting away Bones' hand when he tried to wipe the last of the soup from the Captain's chin.

"Regrettably, I must agree with the Doctor in this instance," Spock said, making Jim frown at him.

"Thank you, Spock," Bones said, standing and taking the empty bowl with him. "Speaking of going to the bathroom, do you want Spock to help you over to it?"

"No," Jim decided with a shake of his head. "I'll use, you know, the… uhm…." Jim stopped, the color creeping up his cheeks.

"Okay. Spock," Bones said in request. Spock nodded, leaving the room until McCoy told him the coast was clear.

"Go sleep in your own bed," Jim told McCoy as the Doctor fussed over him.

"You sure?" McCoy asked, studying him closely. "The couch in my office isn't so bad."

"No, Bones. Go sleep in your bed. I'll be fine. And Spock is staying. If I need you, which I won't, Spock will let you know."

"You okay with me leaving?" Bones asked Spock.

"You need to rest, Leonard," he responded, surprising the other two men with his unusual familiarity.

_That was some talk they had_, Jim thought.

"Alright. Wake me up if he so much as sneezes," McCoy insisted, Spock nodding.

"Of course," Spock agreed.

"You want a pain reliever?" Bones asked Jim, studying his face for signs of those things Jim thought he could hide.

Jim actually considered that question briefly before reluctantly agreeing.

"Well," Bones said as he carefully gave him the injection. "I expected the usual argument."

"You'd still win. And I prefer being able to sleep," Jim admitted.

"You prefer it to what?" Spock asked, making them laugh.

"To staring at the ceiling and wondering why my body hates me," Jim said.

"Go to sleep," Bones said with a shake of his head. "You going to be okay?" he asked Spock.

"I will be fine," Spock assured him. "I plan to meditate."

"Alright. I'll see you in the morning," Bones said to Jim, patting his shoulder one last time before leaving.

"Thank you," Jim said to Spock when they were alone.

"For what?"

"For watching out for him. He'd run himself ragged otherwise," Jim said knowingly.

"His affection for you is obvious. An affection shared with every member of your crew," Spock said.

Jim shook his head at that. "Not Bayher in Engineering. He thinks I'm an idiot."

"True. Unfortunate," Spock said, scooting his chair a little closer to Jim's bed. "Do you want me to read to you?"

"No. I appreciate it. I think I'll be okay," Jim said. "Why does he hate me so much?"

"I believe he is jealous," Spock decided. "Nyota mentioned that he was in your Advanced Theoretical Physics class and you were the only other person to score a perfect grade."

"He was in my class?" Jim asked, trying to remember. "Hmm…I might have remembered that if I had gone on a regular basis."

"You scored a perfect grade in a class you did not attend?" Spock asked.

"Yeah," Jim confirmed. "We had Dr. Burnside. He told me the first day of class that I had no business being at the Academy despite my last name. And he knew beyond a doubt I'd fail his class."

"Unfortunate," Spock said with a shake of his head. "Did you tell the Provost of his statement?"

"No," Jim said with a soft laugh. "The Provost and I met several times about other… matters. Don't think he was too interested in my opinion of the faculty."

"I did not know your experience at the Academy was so unpleasant," Spock said.

"It was different from most," Jim agreed. "And no disrespect, but there was no way in hell I was going to fail the Kobayashi Maru."

"I can see why now," Spock agreed, studying Jim in a new light. "I am sorry that I had you brought up on charges."

Jim shook his head at that, a smile on his weary face. "We're way past that now, Spock. You were right but even in retrospect, I'd have done the same thing."

"This does not surprise me," Spock said making Jim laugh. "I should not have invoked your father's memory to further hurt you."

Jim waved away his words. "It's fine. You had a point to prove."

"As did you," Spock confirmed, leaning forward slightly and taking Jim's left hand into his own. "I will endeavor to make it up to you once you are fully recovered."

"I'll hold you to that," Jim said, a sparkle in his eyes that had previously been missing.

"Sleep now. I will remain."

Jim nodded, letting his eyes drift closed, comforted by Spock's presence and the warmth he was transmitting through their entwined hands.


	6. Chapter 6

He woke slowly, wondering if the voices he heard were inside his head or outside of it. As he allowed his eyes to drift open, his right eye was able to focus on those in his room. Uhura was talking with Sulu, Hikaru nodding in agreement with whatever she was saying. _Smart of him,_ Jim thought, knowing too well the futility of arguing with Uhura.

Just next to them, Scotty seemed to lecturing Chekov, Pavel staring at him in rapt attention. Which was interesting. Maybe Pavel was simply trying to understand what Scotty was saying, the duel of accents that was going on amusing Jim silently.

On his left, there was Pike chatting much more casually with McCoy, an actual exchange taking place, both men smiling and nodding, looking inordinately pleased with themselves. _Hmm…that calls for some investigation, _Jim decided.

Finally, he turned his focus to Spock who had been watching him with silent amusement reflected in his eyes. Jim smiled at him, lowering his lashes, feeling unbelievably self-conscious under Spock's open, appreciative appraisal. He wondered how many of his observations had been transmitted to Spock through their joined hands.

"'Bout damn time you were awake," Bones finally said, drawing everyone's attention to the Captain.

"Yeah?" Jim asked, looking up at everyone smiling at him. "Did I keep you waiting?"

They laughed at that, everyone talking at once, which was just fine with Jim. He managed to mostly keep up, answering their questions, hearing their good wishes, listening to the comforting sound of their voices.

McCoy eventually determined that they had been visiting long enough, promising them all that, yes, of course, they would be able to return that afternoon. No, they couldn't stay all day. Because Jim was still recovering. No, right now you really do need to leave. Yes, I'm sure.

Jim very carefully didn't laugh at Bones as he herded them all out, closing the door between Jim and the rest of the crew. When the door re-opened to admit McCoy, he had Chekov with him.

"Hey," Jim said, looking up at the younger man.

"Keptain," Pavel said quietly, staring down at the blanket covering Jim.

"I believe I will get myself a cup of tea," Spock decided, standing.

"I need more coffee," Bones agreed, leaving Jim and Chekov alone in the room.

"What's up?" Jim asked Pavel. Jim strongly suspected the problem but it was up to Chekov to articulate it.

"I…uhm…I'm very glad you have returned to us safely, Keptain," Chekov said softly.

"Thank you, Pavel. Being gone was difficult. But I'm home now and Dr. McCoy assures me I will be good as new soon," Jim told him.

"Yes sir," Chekov said, looking up to meet Jim's eyes. Jim wasn't entirely surprised to see Pavel's eyes shimmering with tears. "Vhen you vere gone, I was… uhm… scared that we'd never see you again."

"I know, Pavel. But you know space travel is dangerous work. We're careful but the unexpected still happens."

"Yes sir," Chekov agreed with a nod. "Hikaru said the same. And I know it is so. It's just that… well, if… something happened to you… it would… I would…."

"Pavel," Jim said gently, reaching out to lay his left hand on Chekov's arm. "I'm okay. And if something did happen to me, you'd be okay too."

"Yes sir," Chekov said in some uncertainty. "I guess I vanted to say… thank you, sir. I am very much glad to be on your crew. And I'd like to ask that you in future be more careful. Please sir."

Jim laughed at that. "Okay, I'll try. Next time we visit a planet with gigantic birds, I promise I'll wear a black shirt."

"Thank you, sir," Chekov agreed brightly. "Is there anything I can do for you, sir? Vould you like one of my books to read perhaps?"

"I'd like that," Jim agreed. "In English."

"Of course, sir," Chekov said with a nod. "I'll bring it this afternoon vhen the Doctor says we can return."

"Good," Jim said with a nod.

"I'll let Dr. McCoy I've left," Chekov said, leaving after a final word of farewell.

Jim was still smiling faintly as McCoy and Spock returned.

"He okay now?" McCoy asked, sitting on the edge of the bed and surprising Jim by handing him a cup of coffee.

"Yeah," Jim said absently, inhaling the smell of the coffee, wondering if there was any way he could plunge into the coffee and wallow in it. Drinking it just wasn't enough.

"He was quite distressed at your absence," Spock said in a surprisingly gentle tone.

"I know. It's partly hero-worship," Jim said.

"Stop sniffing your coffee and drink it," Bones scolded, making Jim laugh.

"What do you care? And I didn't think you'd let me have it already," Jim admitted, carefully sipping it and enjoying the taste a little too much.

"Your blood is at least 50% coffee. It won't hurt you," Bones said as Jim reverently sipped it again.

"I'm hungry."

"Good. What do you want? Eggs?"

Jim considered that briefly before shaking his head. "Toast? And fruit?"

"Fine."

"You eat already?" Jim asked looking at them both.

"Yeah. It's 10:30," Bones informed him.

"Oh. Okay. I seem to have lost all track of time," Jim admitted.

"You never know what time it is," Bones reminded him affectionately. "I'll be right back."

"Thanks," Jim agreed, watching him leave before turning his attention to Spock. "Did you manage to sleep?"

"I meditated. That was adequate," Spock said.

"Adequate?" Jim repeated with a smile. "Besides Pavel being upset, anything else happen while I was gone?"

"The Ensign remained quite unemotional during you absence. I believe he was unaware of the amount of his distress until you had returned to us."

"Yeah," Jim agreed. "Do you think Bones slept with Chris last night?" he asked quietly as though he was afraid he'd be overheard.

"I have no evidence on which to base a hypothesis," Spock replied, making Jim laugh.

"Okay. I'll just ask him," Jim decided, Spock raising one eyebrow at that. "What? What's the worst that can happen? He yells at me?"

"Perhaps. Or perhaps he will confine you longer than necessary in Med Bay."

"Not a chance. He wants to get rid of me as soon as he can," Jim laughed. He waited as Bones returned, a plate in his hand which he sat carefully on Jim's thighs. "So," Jim said, faking casual. "You sleep alone last night?"

"Yeah," Bones said, watching him eat. "Why?"

"You didn't have any midnight visitors?" Jim asked between bites of toast that tasted way better than bread with strawberry jam had to right to taste.

"I just said I was alone. Why are you all up in my personal business?"

"You and Chris were having quite a cozy chat," Jim said, laughing at Bones' expression.

"God but you have an over-active imagination," Bones said in a huff.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Bones said. "We were talking about you and how could you possibly be in command of starship when you are without a doubt one of the dumbest hick farmboys we've ever had the misfortune of knowing."

"You said no such thing," Jim laughed.

"But you can't be sure, can you?"

"I can't. But Spock can. They didn't say that, did they, Spock?"

"I have no comment on the matter," Spock said firmly.

"Some friend you are," Jim said in mock indignation, holding out his banana to Bones to peel.

"Sounds smart to me," McCoy said, returning the banana to Jim. "I'm going to do some paperwork, unless you need me."

"I'm good. When can I try walking?" Jim asked as he ate his fruit.

"I'll send Jeffers in to help you. You'll listen to him," Bones warned.

"I will. Even if he likes ordering me around."

"He's a physical therapist, you infant. He has no choice."

"There you go with the name calling again," Jim said, making Bones snort at him.

"Only when you deserve it. Let me know if you need me," he reminded them both as he left the room.

"What?" Jim asked Spock, the expression on the Vulcan's face one Jim did not readily recognize.

"Your relationship with the Doctor is quite unique."

"That's one way of putting it. Our relationship has been…different… since we met on the shuttle to the Academy and he threatened to throw up on me," Jim confirmed with a smile. "Do you know the Human story of Jiminy Cricket?"

"I have heard it," Spock confirmed. "He provides that role for you?"

"Sometimes more than I'd like," Jim agreed. "And I can't think of anything I wouldn't do for him. He really wanted to stay Earthside but he agreed to be my CMO. Figured he could keep me alive longer than anyone else."

"Fortunate," Spock said. "I appreciate being allowed to witness your unique interactions."

Jim smiled and shrugged at that, looking down at his banana instead of meeting Spock's eyes that possibly saw too much.

"Would you like something more to eat?" Spock asked when Jim had finished his fruit.

"Not right now. But I would like more coffee."

Spock nodded and stood, taking his cup and returning it full. "Dr. McCoy said that Jeffers will be here in half an hour."

"Okay. I hope I don't make too much of a fool out of myself."

"You will not be where anyone can see you," Spock assured him. "While he is assisting you, I will talk with the Admiral about the away team assignments."

"Good," Jim said with a nod. "I'm sure I'll sleep after Jeffers leaves. So you won't need to plan on returning until Bones lets you know."

"Will you sleep if you are alone?"

"I'm feeling much better," Jim assured him.

"I apologize again for my behavior yesterday," Spock said.

"You don't need to, Spock. I understand. I'm looking forward to getting out of here so we'll have some uninterrupted time together."

"I look forward to it as well," Spock agreed, his voice and eyes warmer than was usual for him.

They continued to talk until Jeffers entered, Spock excusing himself and going up to the Bridge. It felt familiar and strange, all at once, to be back there, although it had not been so long since he was last on duty. Pike was in the Captain's Chair, reviewing a padd and nodding at what he was reading. Spock quelled his illogical and misplaced anger that briefly flared seeing anyone else in the center chair. The Admiral had every right and every reason to be sitting there, and, Spock reminded himself, it was not in fact _Jim's_ chair.

"Admiral," Spock said when he stood next to him, hands clasped behind his back. Greeting the Admiral attracted everyone's attention and they looked at him expectantly. "The Captain is occupied with therapist Jeffers," Spock explained, seeing everyone relax at his words.

"What can I do for you, Spock?" Pike asked kindly.

"I had thought to discuss the composition of the away team, sir," Spock responded.

"I discussed it with Lt. Uhura. We're all set," Pike told him.

"Very well, sir," Spock said, glancing over at the Lieutenant. He watched the viewscreen momentarily before looking back at the Admiral.

"Was there something more?" Pike asked.

"No sir," Spock said. "I will excuse myself."

Pike nodded absently, returning his focus to the padd. He did not notice that Uhura followed Spock into the turbolift.

"Hey," Uhura said softly, looking up at him with worried brown eyes. "You okay?"

"I am…." He stopped. There was no use pretending with her. She still saw straight through him, as his mother always had. Was it a gift with which all Earth women were endowed? "I find myself at something of a loss," he finally admitted.

"Do you resent Pike being in command?" she asked softly.

"I do not," he assured her. "However, the Captain is undergoing physical therapy. I am not needed on the Bridge." He stopped, seeing the recognition in her face.

"Pike is only keeping you off the Bridge for your sake, Spock. You know that. Imagine if you were still in command _and_ trying to help the Captain recover. Even you couldn't handle it all."

"I understand the motivation behind his actions," Spock acknowledged. "I do not know quite how to fill my time until I can return to MedBay."

"You could go to your quarters and sleep," Nyota suggested. "You haven't slept since Kirk got back. It isn't healthy, even for you. And have you eaten?"

"I have been eating. I will go and sleep for a time," he agreed with a nod.

"Good. I'll let Leonard know. He can contact you when Kirk wakes up."

Spock nodded at that, looking again into the beautiful brown eyes that saw him differently than most. "Jim and I have…talked."

She smiled at that, nodding. "Good. Do you want to talk about it?"

He leaned forward and very lightly kissed her forehead. That was the only answer she needed.

"If you ever want, or need, to talk you know where to find me," she reminded, her eyes shining with tears. He knew the tears weren't solely for her.

"I do, Nyota. Thank you."

She nodded again and turned to walk away, certain that her heart would heal with time. And if it ached right now, it was not Spock's fault. When she was back at her station, she contacted Dr. McCoy as she had promised, letting him know that Spock was returning to his quarters to sleep.

"Thank you, darlin'," McCoy said, studying her from her viewscreen. "You okay?"

"I'm fine. I am…." She stopped and shrugged. Fat lot of good it did to be a linguist when she couldn't find any words to adequately express how she was feeling.

"Jim'll sleep after therapy. I'll wake him up after 45 minutes, so he'll sleep tonight. Might I suggest you come to see him when he wakes up?" McCoy said.

"I will," she agreed. "You'll let me know?"

"Of course," Bones agreed. "You let me know if you need me."

"I will. Thanks," Uhura agreed, taking a deep breath after McCoy disconnected.

_TBC_


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: To everyone who favorited, reviewed, and/or alerted this story, I am here to plead for your forgiveness and your indulgence. And to thank you for the patience you have shown that I have not deserved. I never intended to walk away from this story. The other stories I have written were supposed to wait. But my muses are harsh taskmasters and I… have no other explanation to provide for the delay in updating this story. Except that I suffer from UAOADDOLAC-Undiagnosed Adult Onset Attention Deficit Disord… – Oh Look A Chicken!_

_Now that I'm back into "Becoming" I hope to update it again very soon. And finish it before January is done._

_And if you are reading "Kirk. James T. Kirk," it will also be updated soon. I'm a couple of chapters ahead so I can work on "Becoming" and still update "K. JTK." _

_Thanks again._

_

* * *

_

It was an hour and a half later when the Doctor notified Uhura that the Captain was awake and had eaten. If she wanted to come down, now would be a good time for a visit. Securing the Admiral's permission, Uhura left the Bridge to make her way down to Med Bay.

When she entered the Captain's room, he was sitting in a chair, drinking from a cup she was certain held coffee. "Sir," she said with a smile.

"Hey," Jim responded with his own smile, brighter than hers. "How are you doing?"

She sat in the chair next to him and put one delicate hand on his arm. "Isn't that my question?"

"Usually. I get the feeling I need to ask it more than you do right now," Jim said gently.

"You always were pretty smart for a farmboy," she said, her eyes shining with tears as she looked away from him.

"Then tell this farmboy what's wrong," Jim requested, studying her beautiful, unhappy face.

"Do you know that… I have never told you… I think you are the best Starfleet Captain ever," she finally said all in a rush.

He smiled at her confession. "You told me that when you agreed to serve as my Chief Communications Officer."

"But I never told you how sorry I am that I originally doubted you," she said. "That I misjudged you."

"I never held it against you, Nyota. You had ever right to doubt me. Our initial meeting wasn't exactly…stellar, was it?" he laughed.

"I was in a bar. Why should I have held it against you that you tried to pick me up?"

"It no longer matters," he assured her. "We made peace a long time ago. But I think I owe you an apology."

"Whatever for?" she asked in surprise.

"For falling in love with the same person you love," he said.

She shook her head at that, her ponytail swaying with her movements. "He and I weren't meant to be, Jim. You and him…that's right. And I do still love him. But we weren't for the long term."

"Thank you," Jim said sincerely.

"But mark my words, Kirk, _Captain_ or not, you hurt him and I will see you suffer."

He had to laugh again, shaking his head at her threats. "So noted. And I promise I will never intentionally do anything to hurt him. Speaking of which, thank you for telling him to get some sleep. You're possibly the only one he would have listened to."

"Except you," she corrected.

"No. He was determined to stay. No matter what I said. Even though he needed to sleep."

She nodded at that, studying him. "So how are you doing?"

"I walked all the way to the door," he said proudly. "Jeffers thinks I can have the splints off my fingers day after tomorrow. Once I can walk to the bathroom by myself, I'll be released to my quarters."

"Good for you. How are your shoulders?"

"Much better. Jeffers gave me a massage which helped with the stiffness. He's going to help me to the whirlpool this afternoon."

"So you are well on your way to being your usual smart-ass self," she said with a smile.

"I am wondering if that is any way to address your superior officer," Kirk laughed.

"Superior in rank, _sir_," she retorted, making him laugh even more.

"I suppose you have a point there," he conceded. "Are you on the away team?"

"I am. Pike and I made those decisions. When Spock came to the Bridge, I think he was a little… mmm… well, not annoyed exactly."

"We all like to believe we are indispensable, even him," Jim agreed kindly.

"He is. Not as much as you. So you need to hurry up and get back to ordering us all around," she said firmly.

"I will, I promise," he said with a nod.

"Good. Do you need anything, sir? Can I do anything for you until we beam down to the planet?"

"No, not that I can think of. You got Spock to sleep. That is the biggest favor you could have done for me," he said with a smile.

She nodded at that, gracefully standing and looking down at him. "I'll come see you when we get back, if you don't mind."

"Please do. Hopefully I'll be in my quarters by then," he said, looking up at her in undisguised affection. "And be careful down on the planet."

"We will. Cupcake is coming so we're in good hands," she laughed.

"Good. And stay in touch with Scotty so we'll know what's going on."

"We are familiar with away-team protocol, _Captain_," she said with much sass before telling him good-bye and sashaying out of the room, leaving a smile on his face.

It was still there when Sulu opened the door, looking slightly tentative.

"I'm not going to break, Hikaru," Kirk assured him. "And I'm not contagious. You can come in."

Sulu nodded and came the rest of the way in, studying the Captain. "Are feeling up to another visitor?"

"Of course. You're on the away team?" Kirk asked as Sulu sat in the vacant chair.

"I am, sir. I wish you were as well," Hikaru said with a smile.

"Next time for sure," Jim agreed. "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay. You know," Hikaru said with a shrug. "Pavel was… well. I know he came to see you."

"He did. He'll be okay, Hikaru. You know that. For all that he's one of the brightest members of our crew, he's still the youngest. We represent stability, and home."

"We do," Sulu agreed. "Spock was really patient with him. Pav would be on the Bridge and Spock would issue an order. Sometimes it would take Spock saying it twice before Pav responded."

"Was he waiting for me to give the order?" Jim asked with a smile.

"Maybe. And they were routine things. Pavel's the one who finally found you on the planet. Once we were allowed to return, he stayed on the Bridge practically around the clock until we found you."

"But what about _you_, Hikaru?" Jim asked, studying Sulu with nearly unnerving intensity. Jim knew Hikaru better than anyone on board, except for Chekov. But Jim knew him differently and in some intangible way _better. _Sharing near-death experiences tended to form a brotherhood that transcended even friendship and romantic bonds. Jim's vision of Sulu wasn't clouded with the love that shone on Pavel's face whenever they were in the same vicinity.

Sulu shrugged again, looking down at his hands.

"Did you give up on me?" Jim asked with a laugh.

"Not exactly. But I wasn't there. And Spock wasn't there. We should have been there," Sulu said quietly.

"You didn't abandon me. Once I lost my communicator, finding me would have been next to impossible. And you had orders. Personal feelings can't interfere with duty."

"I know," Sulu said with a nod. "But I kept thinking if it had been one of us that was missing, you'd have found a way to get us back before we left."

Jim laughed softly at that, shaking his head. "Not when our orders clearly stated that we had to go to Kelel-eld."

"Yeah," Sulu acknowledged. "I'm just glad you are back. And you're going to be okay."

"Me too. It won't be too long before I can return to the Bridge and be the one issuing all the orders."

"I'm looking forward to that," Sulu said with a smile.

"So am I, Hikaru."

"What did you have to eat?" Hikaru asked, looking for a more neutral topic to discuss. Talking about _feelings_ was not what was expected from the uber-cool and Sulu didn't want to risk their reputation by being caught.

Jim laughed at the question, understanding the impetus and telling him. They continued to chat about inconsequential topics, Jim yawning periodically.

"Do you need to sleep?" Sulu asked him.

"Bones prefers I try to stay awake. So I'll get back on a normal schedule. Although why he thinks I can ever stay on one is beyond me."

"Yeah," Sulu agreed with a fond smile. "He and Spock didn't argue the entire time you were gone."

"That's a relief. I'd imagine they were too busy."

"Something like that. Leonard was mostly on the planets, Spock coordinating the efforts from the ship," Sulu said.

"Makes sense," Jim said. "When are you beaming down to Mekellen?"

"0800 tomorrow. I just found out their governmental seat is in a place like Siberia. _Really_?" Sulu said with a frown.

"Three-fourths of their planet is ice covered, dude," Jim laughed. "Didn't you read the briefing?"

"Yeah. But still. Pav wants to go. Pike said no but he told me on the QT that if there's time, I can take Pav down and do some skiing."

"Good. The Mekellens, for all their weird superstitions, really do want to join."

"I know. Uhura gave us all the information we need. She sure is thorough," Sulu laughed.

"Thankfully. Is Chris taking Jason with him?"

"He didn't say. Do you want me to ask him?"

"No, that's fine. I'm sure he'll pop in when he gets a chance," Jim said.

"Without a doubt," Sulu agreed. He automatically stood when Jeffers returned to Jim's room. "I'll see you later, sir."

"Thank you, Hikaru," Jim agreed, watching him leave before turning his full attention to Jeffers. "Whirlpool time?"

"It sure is, sir. Would you prefer Dr. McCoy help you out of your pajamas?"

"Nah. Modesty has never been high on my list of priorities," Jim admitted. "Can I try walking to the whirlpool?"

"Yes, sir. I don't know that you'll make it the whole way but I'll get a wheelchair to be on stand-by."

"Appreciate it," Jim agreed. He waited until Jeffers returned with the wheelchair and a med tech before helping him out of the chair where he had been sitting. Jim was a little stiff from sitting, Jeffers assuring him that was to be expected.

With Jeffers assistance, he managed to cross the MedBay and arrive in the area with the whirlpool, Jeffers congratulating him on his progress. After the med tech left, Jeffers started up the whirlpool as Jim unsteadily removed his pajamas.

"I'll ask your yeoman to bring fresh pajamas, sir," Jeffers said as he helped Jim into hot swirling water.

"That would be cool," Jim agreed, leaning back and closing his eyes. "How long can I stay?"

"For 20 minutes. And you can come back tomorrow."

Jim nodded, enjoying the rush of the hot water over the parts that were still aching. Not that he wanted to admit that he still had those parts. Could slow his release and his much anticipated, had-to-be-in-private _talk_ with Spock.

"Don't fall asleep, sir. You could drown," Jeffers said as he sat next to the tub.

"You won't dare let that happen. You don't want to face the wrath that would Dr. McCoy," Jim laughed.

"I face him every day, sir," Jeffers laughed.

"Does he yell at you?" Jim asked, opening one eye to look at the therapist.

"No sir. Not any more than anyone else. We all know it's just how he is. None of us take it personally," Jeffers assured him. "He yells at you more than the rest of us combined."

"Well. I guess that's all right then," Jim said with a small smile.

"Is this helping, sir?" Jeffers asked as Jim visibly began to relax.

"Very much so," Jim agreed. "Thank you."

Jeffers nodded, monitoring the thermostat to make sure it remained at the right temperature. "If you are okay, sir, I'll contact your yeoman."

"I'll be fine. I promise not to drown," Jim assured him.

"I appreciate it, sir," Jeffers said, going to the intercom to contact the yeoman who said he would be down very soon with the clean pajamas.

"Do you know where Bones is?" Jim asked without opening his eyes.

"I believe he is sleeping, sir," Jeffers said. "Dr. M'Benga is on duty. As I understand it, he sent Dr. McCoy to his quarters."

"Oh good," Jim said.

"Do you need Dr. McCoy, sir?"

"No. I just haven't heard him. I was curious," Jim said.

"Do you want to eat something after you're out, sir?"

"I'm not hungry. I'll eat when Commander Spock comes down."

"Very good, sir," Jeffers agreed.

"Are you going to help me walk more tomorrow?"

"Yes sir. After breakfast?"

"That will be fine," Jim agreed. "I want to be able to make it to the bathroom so I can go to my quarters."

"I can understand that, sir. MedBay is not the best place to try and sleep."

"I've never been very good at it," Jim agreed, shifting once.

"Is something hurting you, sir?" Jeffers asked in concern.

"Not at all. I wanted the jet right between my shoulder blades."

Jeffers nodded at that, watching Spock peek into the room before entering. "Commander."

Jim opened his eyes at that, smiling up at Spock. "Hey."

"Captain," Spock said. "I was told you were in here. Now that I see you are safely in the care of the Lieutenant, I will take my leave."

"There's no reason you shouldn't stay, sir," Jeffers assured him. "The Captain has 10 more minutes."

"In that case, I will remain," Spock agreed, sitting in a vacant chair next to the tub.

"I'm going to check on your yeoman, sir," Jeffers decided.

"Thanks," Jim agreed, looking up at Spock. "Did you sleep?"

"I did. I am quite rested now," Spock assured him.

"Good. Nyota visited me," Jim said.

"You had a productive talk?" Spock asked.

"Yeah. And she threatened me. If I hurt you, she'll kill me," Jim laughed.

"That is hardly an appropriate way to talk to you," Spock said, his amusement not entirely hidden.

"Yeah. But I think she was talking to Jim, not the _Captain_. The one that's in love with his First Officer."

"Convenient. As his First Officer feels the same for his Captain," Spock said, laughter in his dark eyes.

"That works out well, doesn't it?" Jim asked. "I am _so_ ready to be back in my own quarters."

"It will not be so much longer," Spock reminded him.

"I know," Jim sighed. "It's just that…well… "

"You feel the most secure there. The most at home."

"More than I do in here," Jim agreed.

"As I am relieved of duty, I am able remain with you. Perhaps we can convince Dr. McCoy to release you earlier than expected."

"Oh yeah. You can make sure I don't do anything stupid. I don't really need to be here, do I?"

"I cannot speak for the Doctor. It does seem that being in your quarters would only speed your recovery."

"What if we ask Geoffrey while he's on duty?" Jim said with a twinkle.

"You are under the care of the CMO, Captain. Only he can release you to quarters," Spock said, sounding for all the world like he was quoting regulations. Which he might have been doing.

"Yeah," Jim sighed. "Well. We'll talk to him as soon as he comes to check on me. Unless I miss my guess, it won't be too much longer."

"Indeed," Spock agreed. "He is nothing if not predictable. Most especially where you are concerned."

"That's him. God bless him." Jim twisted to look behind him when a bell went off. "I guess I'm done."

"It would appear so. Shall I assist you out?" Spock asked.

"Sure. If you don't mind. I'll need a couple of towels," Jim said, pointing over where they were stacked on the shelf in a tidy pile.

Spock retrieved the towels before stepping out to see if he could locate Jeffers and the pajamas he had gone to fetch. Finding them both easily, Spock took the pajamas and told Jeffers he would help the Captain into them. Jeffers naturally agreed.

When Spock returned, he helped the Captain stand, keeping one hand on his waist the entire time. After he had very carefully left the whirlpool, Jim dried himself, surrendering one towel to Spock so he could make sure his back was also dry. That done, Spock helped Jim into his fresh pajamas, neither of them as self-conscious as they had thought they'd be.

"Hold on a sec," Jim said, sitting in the chair slightly breathless.

"Should I carry you?" Spock offered, seeing the strain on Jim's face.

"No. I just have to catch my breath," Jim said, looking up at Spock. "You don't need to look so worried. I'll be okay in just a second."

"As you would tell me no matter the circumstance," Spock reminded him. "I suggest you allow me to return you in the wheelchair."

"Is there anyone else around?" Jim asked, taking a deep breath.

Spock checked outside the door, finding the area deserted. Satisfied he wouldn't be seen, Jim agreed to allow Spock to push him in the wheelchair back to his room. Once there, Jim had no choice but allow Spock to help him back onto the bed, his strength completely sapped by the activity he had undertaken.

"Thanks," Jim said breathlessly when he was safely returned to the bed.

"You do not need to thank me," Spock assured him, sitting next to the bed. "You should rest for a time."

"Yeah. I don't think I have any choice," Jim agreed. "If Bones comes in, you'll ask him about letting me go to my quarters?"

"You can be sure that I will," Spock said. "Would you like for me to read to you?"

"If you don't mind," Jim said. "You could read me some of the status reports. Even once I fall asleep, I may have some idea what you said."

"I do not believe Dr. McCoy would approve," Spock said, shaking his head. "Shakespeare is a more appropriate choice."

"Shakespeare it is," Jim agreed with a wave of his left hand. "Have you ever broken any fingers?"

"I have not," Spock said as Jim looked at his right hand still in the splints. "Is it very painful?"

"More so than you'd think," Jim said. "I mean, they don't hurt right now. But they can be very sore."

"Dr. McCoy has indicated the splints can be removed in another day."

"Yeah. It's fine," Jim said, yawning. "_To sleep, perchance to dream - ay, there's the rub_."

"I will be here to make certain your dreams do not awaken you."

"Thanks," Jim said with a faint smile before falling asleep to the sound of Spock's voice, knowing without a doubt that he would sooth any nightmares that might try to come his way.


	8. Chapter 8

"Hey," Jim said when he finally decided his eyes would really and truly open. Spock was watching him in the near dark of the room with an expression of tenderness that went straight to his heart. He felt a blush color his cheeks and he smiled at his friend.

"How are you feeling?" Spock asked in little more than a whisper.

"Okay. You know," Jim said with a shrug. "What time is it?"

"0214," Spock said.

"Oh. Have you slept?" Jim asked, yawning.

"I meditated while you slept. It is of no concern," Spock assured him.

"Mmm…." Jim agreed. "Has Bones been by?"

"He has not. Dr. M'Benga told me before he left that Leonard was still asleep," Spock said.

"Good," Jim said with a nod. "Tomorrow. Or later today I guess. Would you do me a big favor?"

"Of course. You need not even ask," Spock assured him.

"Will you check on Bones? I mean, he acts all tough and grumpy. But… well… you know. I just want to make sure he's really okay."

"I will check on him," Spock agreed. "Your disappearance was difficult on him. Although he never complained, we all knew he was tremendously worried."

"That's what best friends do," Jim agreed with a crocked smile.

"Indeed," Spock said, his warm brown eyes studying Jim. "Are you hungry?"

"No. Not right now. I think mostly I need to go back to sleep."

"Very well," Spock said, shifting a little closer to the bed. "I will be here when you wake again."

"I know," Jim said with a sleepy smile. "And I appreciate it more than you realize."

"I have some idea," Spock said, taking Jim's left hand into his, holding firmly.

~o0o~

"You know full well he'll be madder'n a wet hen if we don't wake him up," Bones' voice was saying the next time Jim woke up.

"Who's mad?" Jim asked in a groggy voice.

"You will be if you don't have the chance to tell the away-team good-bye," Bones said, smiling at Jim. "It's 7:45 local time. They're leaving in a few minutes."

"Oh," Jim said, more awake at the news. He gingerly slid up the bed until he was mostly sitting. Holding onto the covers as he sat kept him, or at least his pajamas, covered. Surrounding his bed were the members of the away-team, looking as calm and ready as they always did.

Pike smiled at Jim from where he stood just next to his bed. "We'll probably stay on the planet so don't expect us back for several days."

"That makes sense," Jim agreed, smiling at them. "Jason, I'm glad they are taking you."

"As am I, sir. Not many quartermasters are included in away-teams," Jason said.

"You aren't just any quartermaster," Jim assured him. "You have fashionable snowboots to wear?"

Nyota lifted one of her pant legs to show him the sensible and decidedly _not_ stylish snowboots they had all been issued. "Jason tried. This was the best he could do."

"Next time, Nyota. I promise," Jason said with a laugh.

"I'll hold you to that," Uhura said, winking at Jason. "Hikaru is _still_ complaining about the frozen ice planet."

"Hikaru," Jim said, shaking his head. "What good does it do to complain? At least you aren't being stranded there."

They all laughed at Jim, Spock looking suitable contrite at the words.

"Scotty said the same. Pavel _wanted_ to go," Hikaru said.

"I did. I do. But I understand," Pavel said from where he was standing right next to Sulu as though he couldn't bear the idea of Hikaru leaving him. Jim had some idea of how he felt.

"Of course," Jim said with a nod. "Behave yourselves. I expect you to listen to the Admiral just the same as you'd listen to me."

"Maybe a little better than they'd listen to you," Chris suggested.

"Admiral," Jim said in mock indignation. "I'll have you know I have the finest crew in all of Starfleet. Of course they listen to me. Mostly."

"Uh huh. It's the _mostly_ part that concerns me," Chris said with a laugh.

Jim shrugged at that, checking unnecessarily to make sure the away-team had all the information they needed as well as all the supplies. Satisfied they were indeed ready, he wished them luck and watched them leave MedBay.

"You're not worryin' about them, are you?" Bones asked, studying Jim's reflective face as he unnecessarily straightened the covers on the bed.

"No," Jim said a little too quickly. "Not any more than usual."

"Yeah. I get that," Bones assured him. "What do you want to eat for breakfast?"

"Mmm…I have no idea. Pancakes?"

"All right," Bones said. "I'm not sure you're going to eat a lot of them but I'll get them."

"And a banana?"

"Naturally," Bones agreed. "Spock, if you'll come with me, you can bring the _Captain_ his coffee."

"What'd I do to deserve your sarcasm?" Jim asked innocently.

"General principle," Bones informed him before leading Spock out and across the MedBay.

"Was there something you wished to tell me?" Spock asked when they stood by McCoy's personal coffee maker. No replicated sludge for him.

"No. Why?" Bones asked, looking up at Spock with a small frown.

"I thought perhaps the coffee was serving as a 'cover' for a discussion just between the two of us."

"Nope. Jim loves his coffee. It'll take a few minutes to get the pancakes," Bones said, turning to study Spock. "He's fine. It will take a little while but he's going to make a full and complete recovery. You know that, right?"

"Yes," Spock said, looking at the coffee warming his hands.

"Spock," Leonard said, an unusual hand on Spock's arm in an expression of comfort and companionship. "I know this is hard on you. You've hardly slept since Jim disappeared. I know you are barely eating. And I understand. I'm thinkin' he can be released to his quarters this afternoon. That will help you both."

Spock nodded at that, looking into the all-seeing hazel eyes of the Doctor. "His absence was… difficult."

"I know," McCoy said warmly but not overly sympathetic.

"It was equally difficult for you," Spock suggested.

"Differently. I love him with all my heart but I'm not _in love_ with him. It's two different things," Bones said.

"Indeed," Spock said. "Jim had asked that I speak with you. To see how you are faring under the circumstances."

Leonard laughed quietly at that, shaking his head. "That's Jim. Worryin' more about me than himself. I'm fine, Spock, I promise you. If it gets to be too much, I know where to find you."

"And you will?"

"You can bet I will," McCoy said. "Now. Get that to Jim before he comes crawling out to find out where you are."

Spock nodded and returned to Jim's recovery room, carefully handing Jim the coffee until he was sure it was secure in Jim's left hand.

"Mmm…. Thanks," Jim said with a bright smile.

"You are very welcome," Spock said, watching him with undisguised admiration in his eyes.

"Did Bones drag you off to talk about me?" Jim asked.

"That was what I thought," Spock said. "He simply wanted to get you the coffee as quickly as possible."

"Oh good. I thought maybe there was something wrong he didn't want to tell me about."

"There was no ulterior motive," Spock said. "He thinks you may be released to your quarters this afternoon."

"I hope so," Jim agreed. "Did you encourage that decision?"

"It was his idea. He said that we will both be better off in familiar surroundings," Spock said.

"That's for sure. I'm sorry I said that about the away team being stranded on the planet," Jim said, looking at Spock from under his lashes.

"You do not need to apologize," Spock said warmly. "It is comforting to me that you are able to joke about it. I have tried unsuccessfully to convince myself that I do not harbor any guilt over what I did to you."

Jim laughed softly at that, shaking his head. He smiled as he met Spock's eyes that held his own. "We both did and said things we now regret. I think it's natural, given the circumstances. Things weren't exactly _normal_ were they?"

"Nor have they been since," Spock joked, surprising Jim.

"Well, normal has varying meanings," Jim reminded him with a laugh. He smiled over at Bones when he entered with a tray that smelled unmistakably of pancakes and bacon. It made Jim's stomach rumble to have the food so close.

"You may get sick from them," Bones said. "They're heavy after eating so little. If it happens, don't worry about it. And don't be surprised."

Jim nodded absently, waiting as Bones cut the pancakes up into bite-sized portions. It would have taken Jim quite a while to manage such a simple task with his left hand. He was glad to see that Bones had put extra syrup on the pancakes, more than he would have normally allowed Jim to eat without comment.

"I got it from here," Jim said, taking the fork from Bones in an impatient move.

"Not too hungry, are you?" Bones scolded mildly.

"Mmhuh muhhn," Jim replied.

"What? I got no damn idea what you just said," Bones said.

"'Good pancakes,'" Spock translated for him.

"How in tarnation do you know that?" Bones asked him.

"He doesn't," Jim said. "He's making it up to annoy you."

Bones looked from Jim to Spock, his eyes narrowing as he studied Spock. When Bones didn't say anything, Spock shifted uncomfortably.

"Got you worried now," Jim said with a smile.

Spock raised one eyebrow and looked back at the Doctor without further comment.

"Man these are good," Jim said into the silence, ignoring the staring match going on not five feet in front of him. "How about some more coffee?"

"I will go," Spock said, practically fleeing the room.

"I think I won," Bones said in satisfaction.

"Maybe. Won't be long before he evens the score."

"Oh, don't think I don't know that," Bones said, watching Jim eat with great enthusiasm and no delicacy. "How are those doing on your stomach?"

"So far so good," Jim said, eating another slice of bacon. "Where's Scotty?"

"Engineering. Or the Bridge. Why?"

Jim shrugged one shoulder carefully. "I haven't seen him in the past two days. Have I?"

"I don't think so. Do you want me to ask him to come up?"

"If he has time. You know," Jim said.

"Yes, I do know. I know you care more about your ship than you do about yourself. I know you care more about your crew than you do yourself," Bones said affectionately.

"It's my job. It's what a Captain does," Jim reminded him.

"No, it's what _you_ do," Bones said. "I'll go call him."

"'Kay," Jim agreed, smiling at Spock when he returned with his cherished coffee.

"Where did Leonard go?" Spock asked.

"To find Scotty. Only because I haven't talked to him in a couple of days."

"Indeed," Spock said, his usual fall-back response when he had nothing of substance to contribute. But he had learned that Humans expected a response and perceived silence as insouciance or rudeness. It had taken some time before he fully understood the need for verbal responses and now that he did, he made certain he provided one whenever it seemed appropriate to do so.

"_Spock_," Jim said. It sounded as though he may have said it several times before Spock actually heard him.

"Yes," Spock said, focusing on Jim.

"You were a million miles away. When I'm back in my quarters this afternoon, I want you to get some sleep too. Consider it an order," Jim said.

"I will sleep," Spock agreed. "However as you are relieved of command, you cannot give actual orders to me at the moment."

"Maybe not technically," Jim agreed with a smile. It brightened even more when Bones arrived bearing coffee. "Thank you."

"Scotty will be here in ten minutes. He apparently disassembled a bulkhead? I really got no idea," Bones admitted.

"Sounds like something he would do," Jim had to agree, waiting as Spock peeled his banana for him.

"If it were required, you might be called upon to effect repairs to the _Enterprise_," Spock said to Bones. Jim suspected it was merely his attempt to even the score so he wisely stayed out of it.

"Oh sure," Bones grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. "Then you can perform surgery. And Scotty can do physicals."

Spock raised one eyebrow at that, not otherwise responding.

"You two stop it," Jim requested mildly, deciding to intervene before it escalated. So much for neutrality.

"Sure," Bones said, shaking his head. "Unless you need me, I'm going to do rounds."

"I'm fine," Jim assured him, finishing the last pancake.

"You want some more?" Bones asked, taking the empty plate.

"Nope. I'm good. Thanks," Jim said, sipping his coffee.

"All right. After Scotty leaves, Jeffers can come and help you walk. And put you in the whirlpool if you want," Bones told Jim.

"I'd like that," Jim agreed. "Then I can be released to my quarters?"

"Yeah yeah yeah. I'm tired of tending to your every need," Bones claimed even they all knew it was a bold-face lie. "Once he's in his quarters, you are going to yours. And you are sleeping," he informed Spock.

"As I have already assured the Captain," Spock said, with the slightest emphasis on _Captain_, purely, Jim knew, to annoy Bones. Bones snorted and left without another word. When Jim laughed, Spock raised that one eyebrow, using it to convey all the information he needed.

It wasn't too much longer before Scotty arrived, a streak of grease across his nose. He was still wiping his hands on a cloth that was surprising clean. "Keptain. Mr. Spock," he said in hearty greeting.

"Hi Scotty," Jim said in delight. "What's new with my ship?"

"We're shipshape and Bristol fashion, sir."

"That is good to know," Jim said with a nod. "What have you been up to?"

"I am recalibrating the sensors. I am determined that we can find Human lifesigns more readily with a wee bit of tweaking."

"And this in some way accounts for the grease across you nose?" Spock asked.

Scotty laughed at that. "No, not exactly," he said, giving it a swipe with the cloth and succeeding in smearing it rather than removing it.

"What _exactly_ is the grease from?" Jim asked in suspicion.

"It's just as well ya' don't know, Keptain," Scotty said with a wink.

"Yeah, I'm sure you're right," Jim had to agree. "Tell me about your recalibrations."

Scotty explained what he was doing, not because Jim didn't trust him. But because he knew the Captain understood the ship only slightly less well than he did himself. And there was no part of the _Enterprise_ that was not of interest to her Captain. "So I believe if I reverse the polarity of the hyrcium beam, it will intensify the search parameters by a degree of 4," Scotty said.

"4.958 to be precise," Spock said.

"So you agree, sir?" Scotty asked Spock hopefully.

"I concur," Spock said. "Would you care to have my assistance as you complete the task?"

"Aye, that I would," Scotty agreed enthusiastically. "Can you spare him, Keptain?"

"Of course," Jim agreed with a smile. "I'm going into the whirlpool soon. Then I hope to be released to my quarters."

"Perfect," Scotty said. "You want to come with me now?"

"Certainly," Spock said. "Providing you do not require my presence."

"Go," Jim said. "I'll see you in a bit."

"Indeed," Spock agreed, following Scotty out.

In not many minutes Bones came in to check to see what had transpired. "You throw them out?"

"No, they've gone off to see if they can out-geek themselves," Jim laughed. "But if you tell them I said that, I will strand _you_ on the next ice planet we come across."

"You'll do no such thing," Bones responded. "I'm gettin' ready to send Jeffers in. You want to soak for a while?"

"Absolutely," Jim agreed, waiting for the therapist to arrive so that he could luxuriate in the hot hot water.


End file.
